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Ranted:
March 16, 09 
Comments(31)
- By thedude
Comments(31)
- By thedude
On this week’s podcast we discussed remakes- if and when they should be done, what should never be remade, what needs to be remade, etc.
Here’s the deal- we want to hear your opinions. What movie is absolutely screaming for a remake? What movie should NEVER be remade? And most importantly, WHY? That’s it, no strings attached. If we like what you have to say, you get a free tee shirt (yes, the one modeled above by GeekTyrant’s very own resident sexy beast, Abe Froman).
Give us your thoughts in our rant-back section below. And do be sure to post your email so we can get a hold of you if you win.
We will be taking answers all this week. The 3 winners will be announced on our live podcast this Sunday, March 22nd starting at 8pm PST.
Needs a remake- Frankenstein Lagoon. Follow what the Wolfman seems to be doing and remake the classic 1930s universal horror characters (but not like Van Helsing) update them visually with the tools we have now but don’t modernize them. Plus we’ve had so many Dracula films, not too many serious Frankenstein films.
or
The Creature from the Black Lagoon
This is one 50s film that could be handled very well. Give it to the guys at platinum dunes. or better yet, give it to one of my film school colleagues who has a great treatment for a remake. This film could make a great Horror/Adventure- Date Movie (from a studio p.o.v.) as well as a great film in general.
Never be remade- Forbidden Planet, i know there are plans for it, but haven’t we learned anything from the day the earth stood still, 1950s scifi films (my particular subject of focus for grad school) do not lend themselves well to remakes, and this film is the classical highlight of that era. A remake wouldn’t carry it’s charm. What will they make Robby all CGI or even worse Human and just say hes an android, sorry there are no replicants on Altair IV!
Needs a remake-
War of the worlds. Make it true to the original set it in victorian london with true to the era technology. The book is infinitly more terrifying with the knowledge that humanity really had no chance at all. Forget this americanised post 9/11 hero rubbish. Give me cavalry charges against the heatray and thunderchild!
Never be remade- Blade Runner, i cannot stress how perfect i think this film is. It has a truly believable future perfectly broken and miserable with just the right glimmer of hope and humanity. The villians are as easy to relate to as the hero. The sheer beauty of the FX still stands up to scrutiny even now. (although ironically i do refer to the final ultimate cut, so as long as never remade isn’t including directors cuts i’m fine)
no movie should EVER be remade…
even though technology has improved by leaps and bounds somehow the remake always seems to lose something the original had…
so why ruin good movies???
Needs to be remade like, right now: SPAWN. I enjoyed the first one like I enjoy cotton candy, sweetens me up but doesn’t fill me up. Give the story the respect it deserved (and I emphasize DESERVED –I think it’s gone a little off the deep end).
Never, ever, to be remade: OLDBOY. Steven, Will –you are wrong. I don’t care if you’re doing it from the book, it will seem as if you are restoring the movie. No. No. NO. Do NOT remake this movie. For the love of all that is holy — do NOT touch this movie!!!
I think I’d also add
I think I will cry if the Kill Bill movies are ever remade. Those movies are inherently perfect the way they are, a remake would make a mockery of the story.
I wish they would remake the Twilight movies. I know they’re brand new, but the dialogue is so stilted! In fact, while we’re at it, can we just re-write the Twilight oeuvre entirely? Can we do a do-over with actual vampires this time and a heroine that doesn’t inspire homicide in readers? That would be swell.
Let’s see, what should be remade?
Crappy old movies no one has ever heard of. See, if you start remaking any movie with the slightest hint of a following there probably will be backlash, anger and hate, so I propose Fade to Black. Which may or may not have a following…
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080711/
Or something SCREAMING for a remake would be Nick Fury: Agent of Shield. I mean why not? With all the crazy hype for superhero-esque movies.
NEVER BUT NEVER DO BACK TO THE FUTURE!!
No one could ever re-do the greatness that Doc was.
And Marthy McFly was a great hero, he was a geek hero, a underdog that traveled in time to make out with his mom.
That cannot and should not be re-done.
Trying to do a remake would just make million of fanboys angry.
Nosferatu SHOULD be remade.
I resently saw it, and its a timeless clasic.
But, imagine a modern time ugly ass vampire. In a world where Vampires are “Hot” It would just go back to what vampires where ack in the day.
Or maybe one of those Vs movies
Twilight Vs Nosferatu
=)
lets see, needs to be remade: X-Men, curse you Brian Singer for ruining my favorite characters, and curse you double for making the man of steel a pussy!
if someone were to ever touch Raiders, A New Hope, or Back to the Future, I don’t know what I’d do.
already have one ha ha ha ha
Remake: Krull, Highlander, Ladyhawke
Do not remake EVER: LOTR, Raiders of the Lost Ark, the original Star Wars films, or Blade Runner.
Needs to be remade:
Thunderbirds (1965-1966):
Gerry Anderson’s puppetry/essence of plot has never truly been captured in any a real manner. The remake in 2004 wasn’t *bad*, but it really didn’t do anything for the purists– it was just Spy Kids meets sorta-Thunderbirds and was basically a flop. I’d like to see a more true to form adaptation, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be puppets, but it should follow a less deviated form of replication with the original characters with all the character traits/elements accurate to the original. I’d also like to see a lesser abuse of pointless CGI– being live action and being a video game with some live action scenes is completely different.
Never to be Remade:
The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)
It’s almost too painful to explain this, there’s so much wrong with this movie but I’d like to cite: Vin Diesel, Judi Dench, and an overblown budget that created a movie that felt too much like a never ending video game versus a movie. The fact Vin Diesel has also threatened a sequel should be enough to make any fan balk in pain. The company has even come forward to say “it’s not about getting backed with support, it’s about getting it right”– to which all I can say it: Universal Pictures should have been concerned with getting it right all along, and not about the projected profit that wound up being a major fail.
I always thought the original Dracula should be remade. I never saw the original but I do not think I would want to. It would be cool to see a modern remake based off Stoker’s book. When I read the book I just thought about how awesome of a movie it would be.
Never remake: red dawn. If they did this I would kill whoever thought they could take that away from Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen. There is something so intense about this film and I know if they decided to remake it they would spin it toward current-day terrorists and take out the “Red”s. I would hate life if they did.
Remake: Langoliers. I know it was made for TV but come on, can they ever REALLY do King justice, I mean like REALLY. I always loved the kitche but would love it more if they did it will better CGI mouths! HA
Remakes: Westworld, it’s been rumored on and off, but the technology to make it look right and the time between when Westerns ruled the public consciousness and now may make it even more relevant. Shave Josh Brolin’s head and have him take the mantle from Yul Brynner.
The most obvious in the Don’t Bother To Spend The Money category is Let The Right One In: when something’s been done tone perfect, there isn’t anything you can do but ruin it for everyone.
omg. that guy in the picture is soo hot. can i totally get his number?
Remake: Highlander. The first movie was good, but I think if given a more serious treatment with a focus on character rather than just action, keeping it firmly in Scotland with a much more solid sense of mythology, one just might be on to a winner.
Never remake: The Exorcist. Platinum Dunes, the purveyors of horror remakes really must stay away from this gem. Modern day filmmaking will never be able to achieve the sheer creepiness of the way that film just looks, as if evil got ingrained into the film stock itself.
Agreed on the Exorcist.
Add Rosemary’s Baby. We dodged a bullet with that last attempt, but please don’t try to touch that one.
Screaming for a Remake: That’s hard to say . 9 1/2 times out of 10 I think the remakes are just a bad idea and generally are received poorly especially with fans of those original films. I wish there were more original films, especially in the horror genre, which I enjoy the most. I would love to see another “Jeepers Creepers” type flick that I sit there and say “this is a fun movie” and it’s not a remake but a new idea someone was able to get out there.
NEVER be Remade: The original “A Nightmare on Elm Street”. I know Platinum Dunes is working on it (BLAH), but I still feel it doesn’t need to be remade. The original is near a flawless take on the slasher genre, but with one of Wes Craven’s moments of genius to now follow down the Jason, Michael Meyers road, but to create a truly original horror icon. It’s fantastic in it’s sheer weirdness of Freddy and what he is, the glove of course and they way in which he gets to his victims. Let’s not forget Robert Englund’s performance. He really has a full evil scary character that is cooking in that flick. It’s before those one liner bits got about it out there, but I still loved Freddy (Englund) then too. Someone else above mentioned that even with a bigger budget and better effects that it’s impossible to re-capture that magic. I don’t think lightning can strike twice with A Nightmare On Elm Street.
I meant to say “… but with one of Wes Craven’s moments of genius to NOT follow down the Jason, Michael Meyers road, but to create a truly original horror icon.”
Star Wars. The ways that George Lucas could fuck his own work up are just endless.
I think a movie that needs to be remade is Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom, why? because horror has goten so soft over the years and I think this contraversal italian torture horror film is dying for a remake , though I feel there are no good directors who can take on the task, because if it were to be remade a director as risky as Gaspar Noe would only be able to helm the project. Plus it wouldn’t be put in many theaters because of the subject matter, and the GRAPHIC (and it is very very graphic) content, thus branding it with an X or NC-17 rating.
One film that should not, under any circumstances (I don’t even care if Russel Brand is supposed to be in it) is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Apparently over the last year MTV has been begining production on a remake of the cult classic, and I think it is so poetically tragic that the television station that murdered rock and roll, is going to murder the ultimate rock and roll musical. The film was just so perfect that I don’t think a cruddy remake should really be nessicary.
I would like to see Sphere and Congo remade they need to be closely tied more to the book. Never remake Adventures in Babysitting, Flight of the Navigator.
The movie i would remake would be Revenge Of The Sith ,that movie just made my skin crawl the way Anakin was so whipped and easily manipulated by the Emperor, turning on everybody and still not ,killing all the kids at the acadamy(brutal) and still after all this not being able to bring back padme like the emperor said he could. Also Yoda for being the master jedi he was real stupid in the way he handled or lack of handling Anakin all he needed was some authority, some one on one instead of dissing him all the time. I still wanted to see vader at the end but i just hated the story.
I don’t see what the huge problem remaking a movie causes most people out there. Do I think things are getting a little out of hand with this whole re-imagining rage Hollywood has been on of late? Quite simply, yes. I love a good film as much as the next person, in some cases, maybe more, but what’s the problem with a retelling of a story? Some might argue that the 1941 version of The Maltese Falcon out shined the the 1931 version. I think people’s problem lies in the fact that the remakes today don’t even come close to the originals. Why is it we’re so sensitive to films being remade? I almost never hear people complain about music covers, I guess it’s that music isn’t as important. Whatever the case if you don’t like it, don’t go see it, or go see the update, then go back and watch the original and judge for yourself which you prefer. Don’t say just because movie studio X is remaking movie Y, that it’s gonna soil the originals name, and don’t just hold the original up in such high regards because you feel it can’t be perfected upon. I’m not saying every film should be remade, just that the ones that for whatever reason are, may, at least be worth a rent.
That being said a few films that should never be remade;
Raider of the Lost Arc, along with the whole Indy series.
Others have copied the formula over the years, to varied success, but none have come close to creating such a beloved work of cinema, not even Spielberg and Lucas.
Jaws, come on even with today’s tricks, no way you top that film with that cast and that fear it put in to people.
Blade Runner, how many different cuts of this film are there? I doubt anyone can do this film justice by tinkering with it in remake mode.
There’s are hundreds of films that probably should never see someone attempt to update them, I’m not going to go on and on, just that there are some films that needed only one shot to get it right.
Some films I wouldn’t mind remade;
Arthur, loved the original and if the rumors ever pan out, I would enjoy seeing Russell Brand play that character.
The African Queen, either remake it or put out the film on DVD, Blu-ray would be even better, but not holding my breath.
Earth vs the Flying Saucers, why aren’t there movies like this anymore?
Lastly some random thoughts;
Forbidden Planet was remade, they called it Serenity and it was awesome. There is this South Korean film called, My Sassy Girl, that was remade here in America. Now, it kept the spirit of the original intact and was itself a fine movie, but let’s just say, it made be want to go back and re-watch the Korean version.
Okay, this is going to rub alot of people the wrong way, but I’m going to say a movie that needs to be remade is the original Star Wars trilogy. I know what you are thinking, but wait! When I watch the 6 movies in a chronological order I just feel like something is missing. The prequel trilogy is so full of special effects and lightsaber battles, it just lights up the screens and really captivates you. But then I get to A New Hope, and Obi Wan is finally reunited with Darth Vader. They ignite their sabers, and after the battle in episode 3 you are expected a very heated intense battle. but instead they just kind of step around each and touch blades a few times before Obi Wan disappears into the force. Very lack luster. I want the original trilogy remade with better special effects and better, more epic lightsaber battles. This would also help the feel of a more fluid story, you wouldn’t feel the 20 year technology gap so much.
As for NEVER being remade, I will go with some of my favorite will ferrel comedies. Anchorman, Old School, Wedding Crashers. He has already tried too hard and has come up with some terrible flops. Just let them BE! Anchorman was legendary, then he made that soccer movie, blades of glory, bewitched, and that one with the lady narrating his life. all of these sub par comedies are watering down the good ones. but it should always be a rule of thumb that good comedies (dumb and dumber, napoleon dynamite, etc) should never be remade.
Okay, so for a movie to be remade, I would love to see The Bad Seed redone. It is the only movie that probably has really scared the crap out of me, and it was this basic black and white film about a mean little girl. I would love to see what kind of potential modern day techniques could bring to the table. And, when was the last time we had just a basic horror/thriller that freaked you out mostly because it was POSSIBLE in real life? Most things seem to be getting too far-fetched for me.
As for a movie to NEVER EVER be remade, and I’ve heard rumors that it’s happening- the Never Ending Story. I mean, come on! There are some things that are just lost in translation. At the time it came out, they did incredible work to make all these fantastical elements realistic, and if they are going to take that, and put in all this fake animation (Like when you see Harry Potter fly at a Quidditch game- I could’ve lived without that ragdoll whiplash view), I’d rather sit at home and watch the old version. Also, NEVER remake the Princess Bride- it was just too perfect to begin with! I would hate someone to try and top that.
Needs to be remade:
Howard the Duck. OMG, I loved this as a kid, but now…. feels like i’m watching an old Godzilla movie or something. Howard the Duck and Quack-Fu; how can you go wrong.
No Remake whatsoever:
Don’t ever touch my Spaceballs! What a classic. For that matter, don’t mess with spoofs. They were original and great when they were made, but we don’t need to see remakes of them!
REMAKE(s):
Never Ending Story 2 (it felt like a rip off, as it followed, nearly exactly, the first films plot line)
Forbidden Planet (no offense to the original, as it was amazingly executed for its time, but imagine it redone with today’s technology, and in 3D!)
Scanners 2 (’nuff said)
DO NOT REMAKE (PLEASE):
Escape From New York (or any more of Carpenter’s films. His own work is timeless and sheer genius)
Jurassic Park I, II, III (they ROCK!)
The Star Wars Christmas Special (A pox on any who tries…!)
Blade Runner (No one should ever try to crap on one of the best SciFi films of our time)
and
the “Evil Dead” series of films or “Dark Man” series of films (Raimi ROCKS)
To Ray, they are remaking Adventures in Babysitting…with Hannah Montanna!
Hey Jerasica, The Adventures in babysitter remake is actually going to star the girl from Thats so Raven. They all come from the womb of Disney anyway so it really doesn’t matter.
I grew up with Star Wars. As a 5 year old, Episode IV was an eye opener (thanks to my Dad taking me opening weekend!) And since then I had a crush on Princess Leia, even the action figure I took care of but lost in moves and so on. I speak heresy but I would like for them to remake IV, V and VI. Just so the characters and technology evolves in a linear fashion and the same people get old in real time as opposed to what they were back in the day. As if I ever watched I-VI in order, it seems we regressed when we cross over to the ‘77 classic. And no the remakes in the 90s don’t count. Thanks!