Patton Oswalts WATCHMEN Rant
Comments(14)
- By drvenkman
As you all know I thought ‘Watchmen’ was a great film, I thought Zack Snyder nailed it. But when we asked all of our readers what they thought about the movie, some people liked it, but I was surprised at how many people did not like it, some even hated it. Comedian Patton Oswalt has a nice little rant on his myspace page to all those ‘Watchmen’ haters out there. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but Oswalt puts things into perspective. Just so you know there is some bad language for those of you who are easily offended. But here is what he says:
Tell you what — before you go and see THE WATCHMEN, plunk down and watch CATWOMAN, GHOST RIDER and DAREDEVIL. And use those seven hours (and don’t pretend like you don’t have seven free hours in your day) to get out all of your disgust and the-world-owes-me-my-daydreams-made-real attitude you strut around with.
Because Zack Snyder STEPPED UP, motherfuckers. THE WATCHMEN was going to get made, one way or another. And instead of bleating on his Facebook status updates or Tweeting about how shitty the upcoming adaptation’s going to be, he TOOK THE BULLET and tried to do it right. Yes, THE WATCHMEN should be a limited series on HBO and blah blah blah IT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN THAT WAY. Zack delivered a 2 1/2 hour, honest attempt, and broke his ass cranking out tons of free extras. Hell, he even animated The Tales of The Black Freighter for you chumps. Plus, he gave you a kick-ass DAWN OF THE DEAD remake, plus 300, plus whatever else he’s got coming down the pike. He’s the best friend the Nerd Mafia’s had since Joss Whedon and Brian Michael Bendis, so everyone please crack the tab on a frosty can of Go Fuck Yourself and go see the movie version of THE WATCHMEN.
And no, the movie will not have EVERY LITTLE ELEMENT FROM THE GRAPHIC NOVEL. That’s why the graphic novel exists — you can go read it after you see the movie. Adaptation. Parallel visions. When you adapt a book, you cut things out, combine and conflate, streamline and linger.
L.A. CONFIDENTIAL stands as the best Ellroy adaptation to date, and it throws away massive chunks of the novel’s narrative. THE BLACK DAHLIA slavishly sticks to its source material and it’s almost un-watchable.
So there you have it. I don’t really have much more to add because he says it all. If you want, go to his MySpace blog and read the rest of his rant.
loved the movie so much. Saw it twice, I think I liked it better the second time. Watching it in IMAX was definitely worth it, so much attention to detail.
definitely the second time around allows you to just watch it and stop being a picky bitch. gotta say patton is right. it can’t be the book. but it’s as close as anyone would get it.
The problem with Watchmen was not that it didn’t adhere closely enough to the book, the problem was that the film was a slew of incoherent flashbacks and horrible acting. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the book, but I’m sorry to say that it just didn’t translate. That’s my take.
I find what he has to say totally irrelevant. So what if he made 300 & will make other movies? So what if he gave the world “extras”? So what if “Catwoman” also wasn’t a good movie.
None of those address the issue of the quality of the movie. Love it or hate it, none of what he says has anything to do with whether it was a good movie or not.
He said what I’ve been thinking. For an Unfilmable masterpiece of literature, Snyder did a hell of a good job turning that into a 160 minute film. I’m sure if he could’ve made a 6 hour film, he still wouldn’t have had enough screen time to do the novel justice. Snyder deserves credit for having an obvious respect for the material, making the best film he could with what he had to work with…I mean, after all, we couldve had a Paul WS Anderson version from Fox!
Watchmen was a profoundly depressing film. The collapse of imagination and artistic courage personified.
Many people, myself included, don’t dislike it because it doesn’t adhere to the book – it adheres to the book too much: slavishly replicating comic book frames without any sense of what they mean.
It comes across as the work of a very hard-working adolescent – but a disturbed one – the film is deeply misogynist and spiritually empty – and don’t get me started on the bad acting, including flat delivery and rushed dialogue.
And what about the complete lack of establishing any sense of dread, (watch Peter Weir’s ‘The Last Wave’ for tips on how to do this); or the understanding of pacing, tension and narrative in cinema?
I feel bad for everyone involved in the production – of course they worked their heart’s out. Better luck next time!
Jett, would you be one of the first to complain if the movie DIDN’T follow the book?
“Deeply misogynist and spiritually empty”? What part of the movie caused that that was not in the book? The book has no heroes (few have noticed it has no villains either).
Why do people love Spiderman crying like a 12 year old girl but hate Doctor Manhattan admitting life is overrated? I’m not getting it.
As for Oswald, he’s dead on on one point. SOMEONE was going to make this movie. If you think you can tell me how they could have done it better, please be my guest!
—Torch
great rant. amazing movie. yeah, it was different in some aspects from the book, but what movie based off a book isn’t?
Hey Torch, no I wouldn’t complain if the movie was different than the book – it should have been – film is a different medium.
I’ve read the book a few times but a film is a separate entity, (and besides there’s already been a film that’s close to Watchmen, both in it’s innovative cross-cutting/overlapping dialogue and themes: Citzen Kane.
re: ‘What part of the movie caused that that was not in the book’ = i could give a dozen examples = where the movie replicates the scenes in the book with visual fidelity but has no idea what the scenes mean. For instance:
The attack on Dan and Laurie in the alleyway by the knottops.
In both the book and the movie, Dan and Laurie try to have sex but Dan is impotent. Later, they are attacked in an alleyway and soundly defeat the attackers. In the book the final panel of the attack sequence shows Laurie and Dan together in a ‘two shot’ – out of breath and ASHAMED. The clear inference is that they realize that they are perverse people – who get off on, and are validated by violence – this realization that only through their perverse need for violence/being in danger are they complete leads them to don costumes again, engage in the fire rescue, prison breakout etc.
But in the film the fight in the alleyway is filmed to GLORIFY the violence and there is ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME in Dan and Laurie. It’s like the film doesn’t get the point of the book at all.
That’s the main reason this version of Watchmen is so poor. They just didn’t get it.
(then add to that no sense of pacing, drama, what real adult relationships are like, the nature of getting old, dying, incredibly generic choice and use of music…one could go on and on!
still hated it.
[...] PS. GeekTyrant alerted me to a very funny take on Watchmen by Patton Oswalt, which I suggest you all check out, HERE. [...]
I think i am now geek-crushing on patton oswalt
well said
[...] PS. GeekTyrant alerted me to a very funny take on Watchmen by Patton Oswalt, which I suggest you all check out, HERE. [...]