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Ninja outbreak wreaks havoc on Pittsburgh

Humor by Jim Napier

Pittsburgh, PA has has had two recent Ninja incidents. Ninjas may work alone but they do congregate in clans, so this news is not surprising. Once a ninja clan gets started they have been known to multiply. I am personally concerned because I live in New Jersey. Let's hope Pittsburgh gets this problem resolved and quick.

The first report was of a ninja who broke into eleven cars. He was thwarted by Santino Guzzo who confronted him while the ninja was breaking into his car. The ninja "tried to stab him." Guzzo pulled out a handgun, which sent the ninja to flee off into the dark night, yet he still somehow managed to "break the rear window of Guzzo's car as he ran off."

Guzzo said he chased the man, who did not move with the grace typically associated with a ninja.

"He was like a gazelle that just got attacked by a lion," Guzzo said. "He got up and fell, and got up and fell. Then he jumped off a cliff."

The ninja outbreak was kicked off two weeks prior, when Ross Hurst was arrested for allegedly "pretending to be a ninja." Hunt, a resident of Scottdale (hour south of Pittsburgh), had left his four-year-old son sleeping alone at home and decided to work on his sword skills.

Police insist Hurst was dressed all in black and "playing ninja" when they confronted him. They said Hurst claimed his [separated wife] was babysitting, but she told police she wasn't.

"Oh, it was a big misunderstanding. I wasn't playing ninja," said Hurst. "I wasn't playing anything. I went out for a jog. I told the cops that, but they didn't believe me. It was a mistake. I'm not disputing that.

As can be expected, Hurst is being held on child endangerment charges by Pittsburgh police. What are your thoughts on this news? What would you do if you found a ninja breaking into your car or saw your next-door neighbor swinging a sword in his back yard?

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