We've been spoiled as of late with our monsters in cinema. The monsters look more realistic, the scares outweigh the laughs, and the acting... well, the acting still sucks by and large. I miss the heyday of cheesy monster movies (as I wasn't alive during it) and am awaiting the day when a big shot director decides to go old school and make another one if not as a homage to the forgotten art of terrible monsters.
This post is a homage to my 5 favorite bizarrely hilarious horrible monsters. Accompanied with clips and loads of nostalgia, it should serve as a treat to all you B-movie horror fans. Enjoy.
5. Trolls From Troll 2
I can't have a list like this and not tip a hat to one of the worst films of all time. If you haven't seen it, you need to. People telling you it's "that bad" does not do enough justice. The good news is it's more under the category of awesomely bad, as opposed to Bucky Larson bad, which I would never wish upon anyone.
It's also worth noting that seeing as this is a follow up to the original Troll, it goes down as the greatest "trolling" of all time as well.
4. The Brain
I think the best part about The Brain is its ability to make everyone stop using theirs when it comes up on victims. I mean let's be real...it can't be that hard to destroy. Just hit a part of it and it stops functioning in some way...maybe it'll die of a monster stroke. Throw some anti-psychotics in it's mouth? There's so many solutions here, and yet no one attempts them!
3. Mansquito from Mosquito Man
This guy grosses me out more than anything. Like most genetic experiments gone wrong, it's horribly disfigured and horribly misunderstood. Wait, he's just a humanoid monster with mosquito like properties? Okay I guess it's not all that complicated. He's just a giant bug man that sucks blood. Also, he's really annoying at outdoor events and could likely be stopped with an industrial can of Off!
2. The Gingerdead Man From...The Gingerdead Man.
Notice a theme in originality of movie titles? Gingerdead Man is not only scary because he's a homicidal ginger bread man who can wield a gun...he's also voiced by Gary Busey. If that doesn't give you the creeps I dunno what will. He also has the most bizarre death of any monster on the list.
1. The Watermelon Monster From Drunken Shaolin
The only monster on the list who isn't the focus of the movie, Watermelon Monster (or Ching Chong ball as he is called as well) is the most formidable foe of any monster on the list, especially if you're a guy. Using crazy tentacles and a ridiculously large mouth, he jumps and dives wrangling you around until finally he traps you and... bites off your manhood. Yup, that's for real.
Have any favorites you wanna mention? Post them below!
Email Me: MickJoest@Geektyrant.com Twitter: @MickJoest