Remake Alert! 'Poltergeist'

by Joey Paur

Venkman here with some bad news. It looks like the horror classic 'Poltergeist' is getting remade. This is a waste of time, because you can watch the original right now and its still a great movie! I hate that Hollywood just can't come up with an original idea or allow the original ideas that exist to be made! Here is what the trades are reporting:

Juliet Snowden and Stiles White are going into the light.

The "Boogeyman" scribes are rolling out more children's nightmares for MGM's planned remake of "Poltergeist," the 1982 horror film that made "they're here ..." the creepiest announcement ever voiced by a 6-year-old kneeling in front of a static-filled television.

Oh boy, jump for joy, they brought in the guys who wrote Boogeyman to write the script.

The original "Poltergeist," directed by Tobe Hooper from a script co-written by Steven Spielberg, miraculously skirted an R rating despite its children-in-constant-peril, toy clown-strangling, face-peeling, skeleton-swimming medley of horrors. The MGM/UA release grossed $122 million worldwide and earned Oscar nominations for its ILM-designed visual effects, sound effects and score.

The original Poltergeist had a dream team of creativity for the film! Toby Hoopper and Steven Spielberg. I just don't see these new writers being able to top what has already been done by the best.

The story of a suburban home built over an Indian burial ground and thus inhabited by a nasty spook earned further cult status when two of the child actors in the movie died after the film's release. Two nerve-jangling sequels were produced.

You know damn well they aren't going to use real human corpses in the remake like they did in the original. I honestly can't believe the original version got a PG rating either. How Spielberg managed to get that instead of and 'R' is beyond me. Well, he is Steven Spielberg. But the guy tore his face off!

So what do you think? Should this movie be remade? Will it be good? Do you even care?

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