Movie Review: MONSTERS VS. ALIENS

by Joey Paur



Hi kids, today we're gonna open up with a Math equation. Take 1 House, add 3 Office's, plus 2 40 year olds, plus 2 Daily Shows, divided by 2 Arrested Developments, multiplied by 24 = Monsters Vs Aliens? Calculus is hard to understand, I know.

I must start by saying that I didn't get to see the 3-D version of this movie. So this review should be taken strictly as two thirds of a review. Seeing as how I have not seen this third and last dimension that is available for audiences to view. But I digress.



If you're looking to laugh hard every couple of minutes, for an hour and a half straight, (No commercials obviously, and if you need to pee, then just hold it you wuss!) then Monsters is for you. If you're looking for a story, with any kind of character development... then pee freely my friend.

I'm not exactly sure why Dreamworks's's's's... animated efforts never seem to pull at the heartstrings like the Pixar films can. I'm sure Dreamworks can't help but feel like the Jan Brady to Pixar's Marsha. But there is one thing Dreamworks can do. They know how to tickle the funny bone, and they do it well. Suffice it to say that Monsters is definitely a football to Pixar's face.



Especially when Dreamworks is tapping A-List celebrities from movies and television to star in it. Which of course sends me into a "Name That Star" game in my head for the actors not named in the opening credits. "I think that's Ed Helms doing some kind of pseudo Tom Brokaw impression. Is that John Krasinzki whimpering? Renee Zellweger? Is Jeffery Tambor her dad?"

Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon voices our main monster Susan Murphy. A normal woman who is struck by a meteor, on the day she is to wed local anchorman Derek; voiced by "Anchorman" star Paul "You know how I know you're gay? Cuz' I love me man." Rudd. The meteor contains a rare and powerful element called Quantonium. Which gives Susan great strength, and even greater height.



Now targeted as a monster, she is captured and held prisoner by General Monger, voiced brilliantly by "24's" Kiefer Sutherland. General Monger runs a top secret facility that has rounded up other Monsters over the years.

Such as Hugh Laurie's Dr. Cockroach. A mad scientist that was transformed into a giant cockroach in an experiment gone wrong. Though he plays a doctor like he does on the show "House", he sounds more akin to his bumbling British "Blackadder" persona George, rather then cane up his American butt House.



Seth Rogen plays B.O.B, who is easily the funniest character in the movie. Much along the same lines as his other movies... Rogen plays a lovable, but brainless gelatinous blob (not a stretch for him), that was accidently brought to life in a snack factory experiment. His infectious chuckle, and adorable confusion, kept me and the rest of the theater in an uproar throughout the film.

Rounding out the Monster crew is lizard-man like monster, and the group's resident strong man, The Missing Link, voiced by "Arrested Development's" Will Arnett. And the skyscraper sized larvae, and seemingly braid dead Insectosaurus. Although Arnett plays it pretty straight, he delivers the most memorable line in the movie for me. When stepping outside for the fist time in thirty years, he asks "Has it gotten warmer out here? If it has, someone should tell us. That would be a convenient truth."

The conflict begins when alien baddie Gallaxhar, played by "The Office's" Rainn Wilson, comes to earth to obtain the Quantonium, in hopes that he can use it's powers to conquer our world. When the brave but hopelessly idiotic President of The United States, voiced by Stephen Colbert, is unable to come up with a way to defeat Gallaxhar, and his giant robot. General Monger offers the services of his Monsters to defeat the evil alien mastermind.



Over all, I absolutely loved this movie. It's laughs make it a multiple viewing worthy film. And the animation is incredible. It kept my attention, due mostly in part that it was incredibly fast paced. Sure they should have had more story. But it's ultimately a kids movie. So I can forgive them for that.

As much as I enjoyed the movie, I do have a minor bone to pick. The movie title is a little misleading. It should be called Monsters Vs Alien. Because there's just the one. Sure he makes a clone army of himself, but who hasn't? Jango Fett did it, Michael Keaton did it, and let's all cross our fingers that Megan Fox will do it. But for this movie, it just seemed kind of lazy. If you advertise that Monsters are gonna battle with Aliens, there better be a cornucopia of both! "Gallaxhar out."

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