by Joey Paur

Crank 2: High Voltage was the most ridiculously insane over the top movies I have ever seen. Ever! This movie starts off like it is on speed and then continues to race faster and faster, jump higher and higher, taking every possible hyper speed upper illegal drug on the market to the point where the movie becomes a blur of high –strung everything you can think of and more.

I really enjoyed the first movie and I thought this one was going to be along the same lines and it was for the most part during the first half of the film. The second half of the movie was on warp speed and for the life of me my eyes couldn’t keep up with what was happening on the screen. This movie could put people in seizures.

The movie literally plays out like a video game. Chev Chelios’ heart is stolen and was replaced by a battery powered artificial heart that will keep him alive so they can take out his other functioning organs. He says to hell with that and the movie begins. Throughout the movie he has to keep finding ways to keep his heart electrically charged to keep him alive as he hunts down the people that stole his heart. Along the way he comes in contact with some of the most annoying people on the planet.

The movie starred Jason Statham who was jacked up, Amy Smart who was dirty, David Carradine who was Poon Dog, Corey Haim was perfect for the role he played, Efren Ramirez who was not Pedro, Dwight Yoakam was a douche, and Ling Bai needed to die. What’s the point of mentioning their acting abilities in a movie like this?

For me the biggest problem with ‘Crank 2: High Voltage’ was that it is so over the top and absurd. The filmmakers did everything they could to push the audiences limit in terms of being offensive and I think they succeeded in that aspect. If people thought the date rape scene in ‘Observe and Report’ was bad they are going to love how they treat women in this. This movie has no class at all. At the same time you can’t look away. Well, that's not entirely true there was a scene involving male nipples that I just couldn’t watch.

I normally like these kinds of movies and except them for what they are, but for some reason I just didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Sure, I had a few laughs, and there is obviously a bunch of crazy ass action to enjoy, but ultimately it was so mentally unstable and so fast paced that I didn’t really didn’t care for it. It’s a movie I never need to watch again. I will say though that it was crazy a wild ride.

Now to those of you that liked the first Crank and are looking forward to watching the sequel, just because I felt this way about it doesn’t mean that you won’t like it. But, I know you will see what I am talking about.

If you’ve already seen it or plan on seeing it let me know what you thought about it after you watch it. I’m interested to hear other people's opinions.

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