Video Game Review: G.I. JOE RISE OF COBRA

by Joey Paur

G.I. Joe Game

It’s not a surprise by now that I wasn’t a big fan of the new G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie. If you think the video game could possibly better, think again because it was actually worse than the movie. I enjoy playing video games! With the systems we have to play on these days there is no excuse for a crappy game, but crappy games keep getting made and I don’t understand why people would waste money on developing these kinds of games. Traditionally, movie based video games are just awful, except for Wolverine, that game was much better than the movie and I think it’s the best movie adapted game ever made. With EA Games behind G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, I thought for sure it would at least be enjoyable, but nope.

Of course Paramount had to make a game based on their big budget movie, because it was just another avenue of income for them. But they could have at least put some thought, love, time, and talent into the game! This thing was obviously rushed through production. The graphics were as good as anything you would have seen on the first Playstation system. I played the game on PS3 and it did not in any way shape or form utilize that power of the PS3, which was a waste.

G.I. Joe had potential to be a great game, but like the movie, they change up the design and unique style of the classic characters that we have been raised with over the years. The character models are bland and boring. There’s no personality.

As for the game play... it was like I was playing the old school NES game Ikari Warriors. You just movie through these linear levels, holding down the fire button shooting everything you see. There is no thought process to the game at all, you could play it with your eyes closed, and probably get through the first couple levels without dying. It is extremely repetitive. You are constantly tackling the same obstacles, and killing the same bad guys.

To stay in sync with the movie they add the bad elements of the film into the game, like the Accelerator suits. When you kill off enough cobra scum you hit a button which activates the suit that makes you move fast and gives you better firepower. These suit don’t make the game any better.

They did end up throwing in some vehicles from the old school toy line like the HISS tanks and Trouble Bubbles, which were cool to see, but boy were they hard to control, that is mostly due to the static camera angle and movements in the game.

One of the biggest problems of the game though are the checkpoints. They don’t do anybody any good. They have checkpoints, but it defeats the purpose if you have to start the level from the very beginning if you don’t beat the final boss. For example if you go through 4 checkpoints, get to the boss and loose, the game doesn’t start you off at checkpoint number 4, no, it places you back at the beginning of the level! What they hell is that? If that doesn’t make you want to quit the game and never play it again, then you are stuck playing through that whole boring level all over again in hopes that you won’t die again when you get to the last boss.

While playing the game you will unlock more playable characters both G.I. Joe and Cobra. You can also collect file cards much like you remember from the back of the G.I. Joe toy packages. You’ll also find a bunch of Knowing is half the Battle PSAs that come straight from the old school cartoons, but you can find those on youtube much faster if you’re antsy to see them.

I unfortunately did not enjoy playing this game at all. I did not feel like a real American hero playing it... had they done it right I would have! I was board out of my mind playing this game. If you are still interested in playing it, rent it, don’t waste your money. Maybe… just maybe, if you have kids that are 10 and under then they might enjoy it. I said might.

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