This Week in Comics, 03.10.2010

Comic Book Rant Superman Star Wars about 14 years agoby Alan Trehern

Hulk Hogan returned to wrestling this week on TNA Impact! Earlier that day, the Big Show and "Macho Man" Randy Savage viciously upper-decked Hogan's bathroom. Unfortunately, instead of immediately vacating the premises, they were caught red-handed by the Hulk-a-maniac because they got caught up reading Hulk's bathroom edition of This Week in Comics.

Welcome again, GeekTyrants, to this week's entry into the TWIC library. I'm sure you've all seen the great movie news leaking out this way and that. "Krasinski as Cap??" "OMG! New TRON trailer!" "Holy frak! Tony Stark has suitcase armor!!1!" Well, as exciting as that might be, you won't see any of that news here. Instead, we take a good, hard, sexy (I'm creepily looking at you, ladies) look at comic books in their purest form. So grab your magnetic chest plates and TRON discs and let's hit the ground running!

-- Last I heard, J.M. Straczynski, personal friend and colleague, was mounting head-writer duties with the new series Superman: Earth One. Now, in an utter beat-down, JM has kicked both Gail Simone and James Robinson off their widely popular titles, Wonder Woman and Superman, respectively, to start his slow but powerful rise to "Emperor of the DCU". I better not see the same stories in Superman and Superman: Earth-One! Don't give me that "different universe" crap, I know what you're up to! I know what you're ALL UP TO!! [Straczynski Steps Up For "Superman" & "Wonder Woman"]

-- I've always wanted to talk about Star Wars comics, but the titles are already so deep in storylines that it seems irrelevant to suggest them if you don't read them. Now, however, is my big chance. **ahem** A new Star Wars series is on the horizon and is set to hit shelves this fall. Yeah, I'm talking fall 2010. It's called Star Wars: Knight Errant. This is waaay better than the original title, "Night Errands", where six pages is dedicated to Han Solo using the Millenium Falcon to buy space milk in the middle of the night. Wakka wakka! [Miller Strikes Back with "Star Wars: Knight Errant"]

-- Marvel has had some great new ideas lately. To counteract those good ideas, they've decided to add a kid Avengers' school into the Marvel Universe, which will go over extremely well with fans of The Mummy Returns and Episode I: The Phantom Menace. You know, kids just make everything so great. Especially teens. I mean if I wasn't aware of the hard, emotional issues these high-school kids have to go through, what with the vampires and the mutant powers, I would think their lives were TOO EASY. Thank goodness all this stuff is suffocating pop-culture. The following message has been brought to you, sarcasm-free, by Alan Trehern. [I Am In Avengers Academy]

-- Richard Grayson is Batman now. And he is failing worse than Leno. The Bat-sh*t is hitting the Bat-fan, and Grayson has a front row seat in the splash zone. Not only is he teaming up with a complete bitch in Damien, he refuses to help Tim Drake in his hunt for Bruce Wayne. What a tool. I religiously read Red Robin just to spite Grayson. Then I realize that these characters aren't real, and that any animosty I have for them is a waste of time. Then I cry for a couple hours. But then I jump back into action and make a dart-board with Grayson's face on it. Joke's on you, Boy Blunder!!! Ahhahahahahah---heeheehee--hah-ho! [Welcome to Batman VERSUS Robin]

-- Finally, to make up for the winnings I lost last night in Vegas poker, I have to name drop. Geoff Johns (ching ching $$$) has been talking about The Flash. You can talk it up all you want, but until I see that comic in my hand, I'm not going to fall for it. Who do you think you are, Michael Bay? "Oh yeah, hundreds of Transformers, super action!" Bite me. Here's the rundown: