THE TOXIC AVENGER Getting a Family Friendly Remake

Movieby Joey Paur

Why? That's all I can ask. Why would anyone want to remake The Toxic Avenger? It just doesn’t make any sense! I didn’t even like the original film. Apparently producers Akiva Goldsman, Richard Saperstein and Charlie Corwin feel that there is actually an audience out there for this. Now get this, the rights they acquired include four sequels, an animated TV series and comic books. They're going all out on this thing! But wait, there’s more.

According to deadline the group intends to turn The Toxic Avenger into a green superhero for these environmentally conscious times. Oh brother, this would have made a great April fools post! But this is really happening! The remake will also be developed as a family friendly PG-13 action comedy like The Mask. Who are these people!?

The original Toxic Avenger film was made in 1984 and has since become a cult classic. I’ve only seen the movie once somewhere during my teenage years, and I don’t think I’ll be watching it again. The story follows Melvin, the Tromaville Health Club mop boy, who inadvertently and naively trusts the hedonistic, contemptuous and vain health club members, to the point of accidentally ending up in a vat of toxic waste. The devastating results then have a transmogrification effect, his alter ego is released, and the Toxic Avenger is born, to deadly and comical results. The local mop boy is now the local Superhero, the savior of corruption, thuggish bullies and indifference.

I really don’t care that they are re-making this movie; they can do whatever the hell they want to do with it. I just see it as an absolutely horrible idea that money is being wasted on. Money that could have been used to make an actual good film. Money that could have been used to actually really help the environment. Good grief, what a terrible waste.

What do you all think about it?

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