Dear Hollywood, Three Words: Medieval Zombie Film

RantMovie by Mick Joest

Dear Hollywood,

Why is it when I search medieval zombies on my Google that I only find a shelved project announced two years ago and this?

This is unacceptable. Maybe you weren't a fan of Stronghold by Paul Finch (I never read it either), but the idea itself is pure gold you would do well not to ignore. Believe it or not, the Medieval folks of yesteryear were just as paranoid about the walking dead as we are today. In Ireland they even used to put stones in the mouths of robbers, rapists, and murderers to prevent them from returning from the dead.

Allow me if you will to take you on a journey. It's the 14th century, Europe is suffering from the Black plague, but the infection didn't happen the way the history books showed. Cities were emptied as medieval zombies feasted upon the flesh of helpless villagers. Once the whole town was infected, it was down to the lords and ladies to defend their castles from the onslaught of the undead storming through the forests and trees up to the castle. An epic war that takes over a third of the European population. The ultimate war between the living and the dead.

Let's not forget this throws out the typical cliche zombie movie. In a world without guns killing a zombie would be much more hand to hand and force a touch of creativity on the writers part. Flaming pots of oil, catapults, and all kinds of weaponry from the age could be utilized to it's fullest. Let's not forget the valiant knights though! With their chain-mail it would be possible for them to enter the battlefield without being easily bitten by the undead. Perhaps the scene closes out with the paranoid survivors burning the dead and thus history is written.

This idea can also revive the seemingly lost genre of Medieval films, as it's been a while since there's been any on the silver screen. With the recent success of Game of Thrones, however, I feel like it could totally be a possibility to appease to both old school zombie fans, and the bubble gum bandwagon jumpers who just recently caught the fever. Am I wrong? Only one way to find out.


Robot Reagan

Email Me: Twitter: @MickJoest


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