Sorry J.J....Someone Already Directed EPISODE VII Back in The '90s


Sorry Mr. Abrams, looks like you won't be the first director to have tackled Star Wars Episode VII. That accomplishment goes to Datagismo and Ryan Sims, who not only directed and voiced the entire film in 1991, but managed to re-edit and change the canon in 2003. Talk about purists, these guys really followed suit in true Lucas fashion. What was originally a classic beginning to a new tale in the series was re-mastered into senile Admiral Ackbar ramblings and jokes about blow jobs in Jabba's palace. Thankfully the original, much more serious audio starts at the 22 minute mark. Great job guys, all the hard hours of editing and stop motion 20 years ago paid got a blog post. 

Some of my favorite parts, in case you don't want to dedicate the full 32:14 like I did, should summarize the basic plot of the film.

4:21: If I Wanted A Blow Job...

6:50 Han Hatches A Plan...

7:10-8:16- The Pinnacle Of '90s VFX

12:43 Epic Dodge Manuever 

16:42: How It Feels To Be In Hyperspace

26:34- Well...Yeah That's Actually How It Looked In The Movie Too.

27:00- Lethal Weapon Reference.