Dear Dungeon Master: How to Play Well With Others

Welcome to Dear Dungeon Master where I offer advice, suggestions, and helpful tips for playing and running Dungeons & Dragons (and other TTRPG’s.) Let’s jump right into your questions:

“Dungeon Master,

I have a friend that is long time dnd player that’s been playing dnd since the basic set years ago. Even tho he now has learned 5th edition and game d20. When he DMs a game he has habit of putting creatures and monsters that out number players 10 to 1. What mean by that is :example party of characters all lvl 1 and puts them against lvl 10 elder dragon with abilities to Match that kills all players no matter hard they tried and does this kind of thing every week. My question do you keep playing with this person or go find another dm.

Anonymous”

To answer your last question first, have you tried talking to your DM about this, either as a group or one-on-one? If you have and nothing has changed, are you still having fun? If not, then find another DM. At no time should the people playing a tabletop roleplaying game not being have at least a moderately good time. Now, allow me to potentially defend your Dungeon Master for a moment.

I make it very clear to all new players at my table when we first begin that they are not playing a video game. The world our game takes place in is dangerous. So, I might I say, “The black dragon circles overhead, its acidic drool hissing as it tinges the tops of the huts below. The villagers, including their warriors and guards, are running hysterically praying that the dragon’s spit will not burn them, too. The dragon swoops in and goes to land on the guard tower on the other side of the village as you. What do you do?” Your answer should not automatically be, “I draw my sword and move towards the dragon.”

“You’re only Level 2!” the Dungeon Master screams! “Run away with the other warriors and guards that I specifically mentioned, and maybe you’ll all survive!”

I probably would not say that, but that is exactly what I’m thinking. Just because you can fight a monster does not always mean that you should fight a monster. I want my fantasy worlds to feel lived-in and chaotic like the real world, and that means that my players can encounter things that they are not equipped to deal with. Maybe your DM is attempting something similar but didn’t properly sell you on the idea.

I make sure that my players can roll their way into finding beneficial strategic information before any significant combat begins. One day it might be an NPC in town that knows about the black dragon’s lair nearby. The next day it might be a book discovered in an old library that details out the black dragon’s acidic breath. My point is, at all times in D&D there are creatures and situations that players just can’t roll their way out of. This is true for my game world and also for your DM’s world.

So, maybe stop to consider that your DM might be throwing far-too-difficult combat at you, but is your party taking the proper in-game precautions to overcome upcoming obstacles?

“But guys, my level 2 blood-cursed half-tiefling demonic sorcerer totally would poop on the king’s living room floor!”

“I want to get back into D&D from playing it a few years ago. I did find a group at a game store that meets regularly but I am hesitant. My concern is not being a problematic player. I understand showing up and all that, however, I don’t want to be problematic in any other ways.

Thanks,
Z”

Player etiquette is a doozy of a topic. I could hold seminars about it. But, to make it super simple, here is one rule that will always keep every game happy: be considerate of the other players.

Every group should be deciding what is not appropriate for their game, campaign, one-shot, etc. Every player is different and not everyone will be as comfortable with certain topics as you are, or vice versa. If someone at the table has an aversion to sexual aspects in a story (or some of the players are young enough that avoiding this topic should be obvious), let them express it and make a decision. Is your entire campaign hinging on lots of sex stuff? (First, gross.) Then let that player know they might not be right for the game. Or, as most humble Dungeon Masters would do, just say, “You got it,” and move on.

Z mentioned this, but be on time. Stick to your gaming schedule. If five other people are making an effort to be available and show up at the decided-upon time, then so should you. Sometimes people are late. Sometimes things come up. Communicate with your group when these instances arise.

And lastly, considering this topic could go on for pages, I’ll end with something extremely important in player etiquette. Never, ever defend yourself when you have your character do something rude, disruptive, or all-around dick-ish by saying, “Well, that’s what my character would do.”

Hell no. Hell to the hell no.

I actively push my players to role-play so that we can all get more comfortable with it and improve our sessions even further. One player is a very confident and decisive dragonborn paladin. Once, when the party discovered two young sickly girls and tried to help them, he took a risk and attacked the little girls because he smelled something evil.

They were nightmare hags in disguise. There to poison a small village of half-dragon bugbear fishermen to death solely because they thought it would be fun. The party killed them and the blue dragonborn paladin was a hero. He even earned himself an Inspiration Point from the DM.

But he also once dove off an alien platform hovering over the ocean while it blasted energy beams down into a glowing portal below and a half-mile tall forest titan tried to kill them. It was cool and ridiculous and insane, but ultimately it was the player committing to this heroic blue dragonborn paladin character. I was happy with that, and the other players rolled some eyes, chuckled, groaned, etc., but it was all good fun in the end. But then there is the other side of that coin…

“Bob, why did your character murder the town baker for no reason in broad daylight?” Bob replies, “Well, that’s just what my character would do.”

Your character is stupid, Bob. Not every character gets an epic backstory, extended family tree, or fancy lineage in D&D, but at least make an effort to create a character that works with the party. Lone Wolf characters are also stupid. There is a party of heroes in this game. Sure, they may split up from time to time, but don’t make the poor DM constantly jump back and forth from the party to the one brooding rogue who has “other plans.” Don’t have “other plans.” Cooperate with your table!

Anyway, that’s all for this week! I hope my answers have been helpful or insightful. If you have any D&D or tabletop roleplaying game questions for me, drop an email at jason@geektyrant.com. See you next time!