Dear Dungeon Master: It’s Not All Swords & Monsters; Enduring the Mundane

Welcome to Dear Dungeon Master where I offer advice and answers to your questions about D&D! This week’s question comes from a new DM, Nicole.

“Hello Jason,
I’m fairly new to DND (first played in April) and am currently playing in one campaign and taking a brief DM stint with my original group. We decided as a group to give our (very stressed DM) a break, by each running a short campaign within the world she built. I had my plot, NPCs, encounters and everything else I needed prepped. What I was not prepared for was a shopping session. I struggled through but would really appreciate any tips and advice on running a shopping session. I pretty much fudged prices (and probably gave players some OP equipment as a result) and created some very quick shops and shopkeepers. Thanks in advance and I’m really excited to read more!

Nicole”

If you think your character dying in Dungeons & Dragons is the worst thing to happen in a game, then you’ve never been the Dungeon Master during a dreaded shopping session. Have you ever worked retail before? Fast food? Well, this is the same damn thing. These moments tend to drag on and on with little to no excitement whatsoever. I was once told that only in tabletop roleplaying games can a week-long journey only take 5 minutes of real time, but a 5-minute shopping session can take an hour. This is an accurate assessment.

Most players on a shopping spree fall into two categories: a character searching for something specific, or a character saying, “Ooh! A store! Let’s see what’s for sale!” If you’re the latter type of player, why do you do this to us? Why do you put DM’s through this hell? Well, Nicole (and others) there is a fun way to handle this sort of thing.

There are no Walmarts or Costco’s in D&D. There is typically no catch-all store for all of the items available for purchase in a fantasy world, so breaking up items into specific locales is very helpful here. Looking for a sword or armor? Visit the blacksmith. Bows and arrows? Find the local fletcher. Potions and magical brews? Maybe someone’s brother’s neighbor knows of a potions guy in town. Rope, candles, ink, parchment, etc? General store. Oh, the rogue is on the hunt for some lockpicks? Not for sale. What store would sell something so obviously intended for illegal purposes? Better make some lockpicks or find some shady figure with which to make a deal.

The point is this: shopping does not have to just be shopping. If a player needs basic supplies, flip open the Player’s Handbook and turn to the Equipment section (page 150; bookmark it) and start selling. This kind of thing can just zip by with no roleplaying, but let’s say they are looking for a new sword designed for dispatching trolls. Send them to the blacksmith.

Who is this blacksmith? What is his personality like? Maybe he’s sick of would-be adventurers interfering with his busy schedule by asking for new, shiny weapons. He’s got to build armor for the city guard, you know, and he doesn’t want to deal with every hero-of-the-week looking for something special. Make him rude, make him brash, but open up an avenue for the hero to get their sword.

“Troll killin’ sword, eh?” the blacksmith grumbles. “Ya. I can make it. Gonna take some time. And some gold.” His eyes lift from his ash-covered face and he offers you a greedy smirk. “Oh, and I guess I’m gonna need some troll hide to make sure tha blade can cut through tha bastard. Bring me that and, let’s say… 500 gold, ‘n you got yerself a deal.”

“Yeah, this should kill them monsters real good. Real good.”

Suddenly this mission to find a sword has become a side quest that will inevitably be more dangerous, exciting, and fun than just buying a sword from some guy. Acquiring this weapon has now become an achievement and is far more interesting than simply purchasing it. This item comes at a cost, and not just monetary.

In your spare time, jot down a few names and characteristics of a few shopkeepers. Make each one unique and give them a personality. Every Non-Player Character (NPC) lives in this world, they have their own lives and hardships, and they are not just a drive-thru window. Give them goals, needs, and wants. Bring them to life! This can make more mundane instances of shopping fun to roleplay and hopefully remove all of the eye-rolling and groaning when you hear those dreaded words, “Oh, a store! Let’s see what’s for sale!”

I’ll end with an example from one of my own games. The party was on the hunt for some invisibility potions so they could sneak into a fancy gala hosted by the evil Count Gorak who they believed was kidnapping the city’s youth and turning them into werewolves. Luckily, this city had a potions shop where they could acquire this easily and relatively cheaply. They arrived at the shop only to find the shopkeeper, an elderly gnome woman named Lenore, wasted seemingly drunk on a new potion she was testing out. Lenore proceeded to hit on the party’s handsome hero fighter, stammer around the shop while knocking potions off of shelves, and then forget the price of the invisibility potions. The rogue decided the best move was to just steal the potions they needed while Lenore was drunk off her ass, but then she said something that piqued their interest.

The handsome hero turned up the charm and asked her what the potion she had drank was designed to do. “I’mmmnot drunk *hiccup* offa tha potion, baby,” she mumbled. “I’m drunnnk off of ale. The potion *hiccup* is supposed’ta lemme remember what I did while I was drunk. I may have *hiccup* a bit of a… drinkin’ problem.”

The party’s plan immediately changed. The rogue would sneak into the gala while the rest would get dressed up in fancy garb, drink the memory potion, and proceed to get hammered at the party. They would drink and drink until they were uncontrollable and incoherent enough to cause a distraction for the rogue, easily explain why there were in parts of the castle not designated for the dinner party, get thrown out once they got too wild, and then remember every single thing they did and saw. The best part? It worked.

Thanks so much for reading and writing in! If you have any questions or comments for me, make sure to send me an email at jason@geektyrant.com and I just might answer them in a future article!