Scientists Tell Us Why Spider-Man Couldn't Scale Walls In Real Life

Allow me to give the first LOL to the person who looks at the headline of this article and says "because he's not real." We have scientists in this world to give us overly complicated answers and better explain exactly why things are impossible, as opposed to "just cuz." The National Academy of Sciences has confirmed what we all know, but through the use of science and sheer geekery, they've revealed that Spider-Man's feet are just too small and he's not sticky enough. 

Specifically, Spider-Man would need a shoe size of around 114 Men's in American! Granted, that's if he were wishing to climb walls as a gecko does, and while the science is no less valid, he's not Gecko-Man. Still, to accomplish spider walking, he'd need sticky stuff on about 80% of his suit to support his body weight.

Why is this important? Why does science crush our dreams? Turns out the study was done to better improve the field of study that is currently trying to make our Spider-Man ambitions a reality! So there is a silver lining. Hopefully one day the tech exists for my grandchildren to score a woman like Kirsten Dunst.