THE GREASY STRANGLER Was So Greasy I Slipped Out of The Movie - Sundance 2016

Full disclosure: I walked out of this movie after watching only 30 minutes of it. This is kind of a first impression review, an explanation of why I walked out, and a brief rant on Sundance selecting and showing shitty movies like this.

Before I begin, you need to know that I love horror movies and I thoroughly enjoy strange and insane off-beat kind of films. This movie could be described that way, but it was completely unwatchable in every way.

This movie was a waste of time and money. I can't tell you if it was a waste of talent or not, because from what I saw there was no talent involved with the creation of this...film? I don't even want to call it a film. This was just utter crap. 

Five minutes into watching the movie, people were already starting to walk out of the theater. I was telling myself, "I can stick it out to the end". Why? Because I'm the kind of guy that rarely walks out of a movie. I've probably only walked out of three movies in my life, including this one. About a half hour in, I just couldn't take it anymore. I was done with it and I slipped out. I felt I had more important things to do with my time than watch this garbage. 

The writer and director of this film had to have spent time in a mental institute for an extended period of time to come up with something like this. Here's the synopsis for the film:

This Los Angeles–set tale follows Ronnie, a man who runs a disco walking tour along with his browbeaten son, Brayden. When a sexy, alluring woman named Janet comes to take the tour, it begins a competition between father and son for her attentions. It also brings about the appearance of an oily, slimy, inhuman maniac who stalks the streets at night and strangles the innocent—soon dubbed “the Greasy Strangler.” 

So what was it that was so bad that made me feel this way? A couple of nasty-looking mentally challenged men walking around in their underwear, the pointless shitty dialogue, characters, and story, and an old grease-loving naked man who drenches himself in gross thick grease and kills people. Just in case you were wondering, to get the oil off, the old man washes himself at a drive-through car wash while wildly laughing and then continues to walk his full-on nasty naked ass around. Nothing made sense, it was disgusting, stupidly vulgar, and a lot of the imagery literally made my stomach turn and made me want to puke.

It's hard to understand without having seen it, but I promise you, your life will be much better not having this kind of absurdity melt your mind because what you see cannot be unseen. Those visuals will be branded in your mind until the day you die.

I'm shocked and disappointed that Sundance actually accepted this film. It makes me sad that they supported this kind of utter trash. It makes me wonder how many other great film submissions were overlooked and lost out on a great opportunity because for some reason the committee decided to let this one in. I love Sundance, but they should be supporting great movies, and not stinky-ass diarrhea like this. 

After I walked out, I went to grab some lunch and while waiting for a seat, I just wanted to check who it was that actually made the movie, and saw that Elijah Wood was a producer. As I looked up from my phone there was Elijah Wood eating at a table near where I was standing. I wondered why he would put his name on such utter nonsense. I didn't bother to ask, but I imagine he's one of the main reasons the film made it into the festival.

I'm sure some of you are curious to see this and somewhere down the road you'll attempt to watch it. Just remember...I told ya so!

The movie was directed by Jim Hosking and it stars Michael St. Michaels, Sky Elobar, and Elizabeth De Razzo. I'm sure there's an audience out there for this, but obviously, I'm not a part of it.

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