Top Marvel Animals and Vegetables to Make a Film About (Part 1)
Ever since Guardians of the Galaxy, something has emerged as the newest coolest thing in the world: animal and vegetable heroes. Rocket Raccoon and Groot even have their own spin-off comics. They're huge! Well, in honor of all those other animal characters in the Marvel universe, I decided to write a top 10 list of Animal and Vegetable Marvel characters. If Marvel can make a movie about a raccoon and tree, why not make a movie about one of these lovable animals? Now before any of you run straight to the comments, I purposely left out incredibly well-known animals that will probably get a movie made about them anyway. This includes Lockjaw, who hopefully will show up in the Inhumans movie, and Cosmo, who got a cameo in the Guardians of the Galaxy movie. I love them, and they would go on my list in almost any other condition, but I wanted to give credit to some lesser known characters. I also chose not to include Throg, because he technically started as a human and became an animal. I'm not sure why I'm even bothering with a disclaimer to be honest. If you guys want to argue, then do it. I can take it.
#10 - Terraformer
Long before there were good names for villains like Whiplash and Venom, we had villains with names like Plant Man and Porcupine. Plant Man was just about what you'd expect him to be: a male version of Poison Ivy but with none of the sex appeal, unless you think old plant men are sexy. *shudder* Over time, plant men did some things of note, like create a plant ray gun, then a better plant ray gun, and then plant poison, but EVENTUALLY he gave sentience to a vegetable being who became Terraformer! Terraformer joined a team of hippie-terrorists called Force of Nature who went to Brazil to save the rain forest, only to be foiled by the New Warriors.
The Film Version
Start it out like a Frankenstein kind of story. Terraformer was given sentience by a mad supervillain, who may or may not be called Plant Man. (Although, probably not, we want to make this a little serious.) After Terraformer is born, he defies his master and runs away only to find a small Brazilian village where he befriends the town librarian, who has a thing for plants maybe? A lumber company wants to run out the village and destroy the forest. Terraformer must decide if he should stay in hiding from the evil mastermind who created him, or destroy the deforestation company threatening the small village and risk being captured again. Have Sam Worthington play Terraformer, basically returning to his role in Terminator Salvation where he was created and confused and trying to save people who don't trust him. Add some prosthetics to him because screw CGI, and cast Steve Buscemi as the evil um...not Plant Man. (We'll think of a name later).
#9 - Brute Force
Speaking of Hippie Fundamentalists trying to save rainforests and the like, let's take a look at Brute Force. They are honestly some of my favorite characters. Imagine if a scientist who was supposed to do animal friendly tests on animals built weaponized Iron Man suits for them instead that also transform into vehicles and gave the animals sentience. So, Animal-Transformers, if you will. Well that's exactly what Dr. Randall Pierce did. He gave robot suits to a Kangaroo, Dolphin, Bear, Eagle, and Lion. I'm not making even making this up. They became a heroic team who fought villainous fast food clowns, who, oddly enough, have their own robotic animal team consisting of an octopus, vulture, shark, rhino, and gorilla.
The Film Version
Actually, don't change anything for the film version. Keep it exactly the same, but maybe add some forbidden romance between some of the animals. Get the cast of Madagascar to play the voices of the animals, because they have the knowledge to get the job done, with Tim Curry as the evil clown villain and Steve Buscemi as the good doctor who builds the suits for the Brute Force team. It would be great for families and kids of all ages. Transformers, Madagascar, and Iron Man are already really big franchises, so why not mix them into an even bigger one? If there's one thing Disney knows, it's talking animals.
#8 - Phelch
So, as we know, Howard the Duck was a thing at one point. Then George Lucas ruined him for everybody. But now there are rumors he may make a comeback, because of a teaser we saw at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy. Well, if he does, let's hope he brings Phelch with him. Phelch is an Alien Turnip that acts as a type of Symbiote. It attaches to people and gives them the ability of flight and strength. That's what happened to Arthur Winslow, who agreed to let the Turnip to join with him and made him a super hero. As Turnip Man, he saved a lot of people on a crashing bus, but once he saw a girl he liked, Phelch took over and wanted to experience "Human Pleasure." So Howard the Duck defeated him and they all lived happily ever after. Except Phelch. He died.
The Film Version
Make the movie about Arthur Winslow, who gains the turnip but is addicted to the power it gives him. He wants to be a hero, especially in this world where other heroes exist, but he wasn't destined to it like they were. At first everything's fine, but once he starts to realize his own work troubles, money troubles, and lady troubles, he starts to take things into his own hands. A hero's fall that shows just what happens when you don't have the responsibility to go with the great power. Have Seth Rogen play the shlub Arthur Winslow who gains super powers, and Steve Buscemi as the voice of Phelch who is inside Arthur's head leading him down a dark path from which there is no turning back.
# 7 Chewie
No, I'm not talking about Chewbacca from Star Wars. I know that Marvel has the rights to him and can write about him, but that's not the Chewie I'm talkin' 'bout. I speak of one Chewie from the pages of Captain Marvel. Chewie is a cat Miss Marvel found and named. It looked and acted exactly like a cat, except that it was really a Flerken. That's an alien race that looks and acts exactly like cats, but have a pocket dimension inside of them that allows them to lay 100 eggs at a time and pull other crazy monster stuff out of their mouths. (See figure above.) It only really does that when threatened, so once she gave birth to the hundred or so kittens, Captain Marvel gave them up for adoption to let the world spawn a new race of kind of monster.
E.T. meets That Darn Cat meets Men in Black. Have a cute kid like Elijah Wood, but still young, so Elijah Wood, find the cat in the woods. He takes it home thinking it's just a regular old cat. He hides it from his mom, but then some space police show up looking for the cat, because it isn't supposed to be on earth, and the cat defends itself when they show up by being downright scary and the kid runs off with it. They meet up with other heroes on their adventure but are eventually caught, and Elijah Wood has to give up the cat once he is convinced its better for the world. Touching. Sad. Maybe the audience will be in tears. Steve Buscemi will play the bumbling guard who loses the cat in the first place and tries to right his wrong.
Once upon a time, there was a swamp that Adolf Hitler pumped a lot of poisonous gas into. Then fungus grew from the swamp and came to life. It decided the Nazis were a good choice and teamed up with Hitler to do evil. He captured Captain America, but Cap got free and killed the fungus being. Not a huge backstory, but you try finding more sentient plant people. It's hard.
The Film Version
Historical Horror Piece. A small band of WWII Allied soldiers are visiting a small German village that has been plagued by a mysterious monster who lives in a castle. The citizens offer the Allied troop assistance in exchange for them taking out the evil monster. The soldiers go into the castle and one by one get killed by the evil Nazi fungus creature, until the final guy finds a way to destroy the monster and save the village. Steve Buscemi will play a German man in the village who quickly closes the door as the Allies enter the city, showing that the town doesn't trust them yet. There aren't enough horror period pieces, and this would fill that gap quite nicely.
That's the first half of my choices of animals and vegetables Marvel should make a movie about. I'll finish the second half next week, so keep your eyes open for that. Do you agree so far? Are there differences you'd make in the movie? Let me know in the comments.