Two Surfer Bros Crash a California City Council Meeting to Request a 12-Foot-Tall Statue of Paul Walker
Late last week, two surfer bros — one apparently named Chad Kroeger (yup, same as the lead singer of Nickelback) and the other apparently named Bodhi — addressed the San Clemente, California city council and requested a 12-foot-tall statue of Fast & Furious star Paul Walker be erected on the city's pier. I'll pause for a second to let you soak in all of the glorious aspects of that sentence.
It's technically unclear whether this is a prank (I'm pretty sure it's a prank), but these Fast fans have actually made this same plea to a city council in Burbank, California as well, so it seems they won't stop until somehow, somewhere, a 12-foot statue of Paul Walker looks out over a city and unites us all in "gnarly times."
There's video at the bottom of the page, but if you don't feel like watching, LAist has transcribed it for us:
What up Council, my name is Chad Kroeger. First, I just want to say I'm truly honored to be here. To be in a city where you can have a surf session and then go to City Council meeting within the span of an hour, I think that shows the American Dream is still very much alive.
Alright to the serious stuff: I stand before you today in the midst of gnarly times. I'm a freelance journalist, and after interviewing hundreds of people, I've witnessed first hand the ever growing divide between Americans and families torn apart by political differences. It's in times like these we need a unifying figure we can all turn to, a beacon of headlights that can guide us down the dusty road.
I was 11-years old when my first love Ashley betrayed me by moving to Newport Beach. I felt lost, alone, bummed. And it was in that melancholy that my dad took me to see The Fast And The Furious, where for an hour and 47 minutes I transcended my worries because I had just met my new hero, Paul Walker. Afterwards at Carl's Jr., I thought about what Paul taught me. I think the most inspiring thing was the fact that even after Dominic Torreto beat him in that first race, Paul still managed to bed his sister, pretty inspiring. Another thing is he still saved Vince even though Vince was flexing on him the entire movie, and questioned his love for tuna sandwiches, which I think is a true testament to his character.
And I just want to go off book here: it wasn't just Fast and the Furious, he inspired me in a ton of other movies as well: skulls, Meet the Deedles, 8 Below, Into The Blue, Varsity Blues, just to know a few, and that rhymes. Paul's onscreen legacy was unfortunately cut short. But that does not mean his impact on society must be cut short as well. Detroit has the Robocop. Philly has Rocky. We need Paul Walker. That is why I'm proposing that the city erect a 12-foot tall steel statue of Paul Walker on the pier.
And here's Bodhi's follow-up speech:
Hello Council, I'm really nervous. I haven't spoken in public since my stepmom's funeral. My name is Bodhi. I'm also a freelance journalist.
2017 has been a bummer year so far. You probably can't tell by looking at me, but I'm a laid back dude, and everyone has just been so steamed lately. Well I'm PO'd too, because we're all just running around being literally non-unified. It's in times like these we need a unifying figure we can all turn to. A beacon of headlights that can guide us down a dusty road. Sorry Chad, I stole that from your speech but, it was good.
We've been to all the Council hangouts around SoCal trying to build the statue. Watching that movie was epically life-changing. It gave me the courage to ask out Shelby. It taught me to never back down, even if a super tough crew of street racers come at you. Stand tall.
I'm pretty sure Paul's cousin went to St. Clemente High School, for at least for a couple semesters. And Paul's spirit encompasses what this town is all about. Which is why I'm here before you today. The thing is though, I'm really busy right now, I"m taking a couple junior college classes, and I don't have time to be driving all over fighting for statues. It says on my shirt, 'When you put good will out there it's..." What can be accomplished by Paul Walker. So let's accomplish this, let's do the right thing.