10 Ridiculous Obscure Marvel Characters - Part 2

A couple of weeks ago I posted the first ten ridiculous and obscure characters that Marvel has created over the years, which you can check out here if you missed it. There are so many of them that I decided to break it down into multiple parts, and I have ten more crazy characters that I think you'll all get a kick out of, especially if you've never heard of them below.

Hellcow

Real name: Bessie

She's a vampire cow! Seriously! One night Dracula is traveling through Switzerland and finds Bessie and drinks her blood. Bessie's owner discovers her lifeless body and buries her. Three days later, she rises from the dead and begins to roam the earth seeking revenge on Dracula. After 300 years of fruitless searching, Bessie travels to Cleveland. She meets Howard the Duck, whom she mistakes for Dracula. A raging, confused Bessie attacks Howard, who drives a wooden stake through her heart and puts her to rest for eternity.

Because she's a vampire she has the ability to fly and can turn into mist. She also apparently has strength and durability far above those of any normal cow. However, being a vampire, she must suck blood from victims in order to sustain her immortality. She also has the basic vulnerablities of other vampires such as religious items, sunlight, wooden stakes, and garlic.

I would actually love to see a movie based on this character because of how crazy it is.

Masked Marauder

Real Name: Frank Farnum

The Masked Marauder is a costumed criminal scientist and inventor who has a helmet that projects "opti-blasts" which can temporarily or permanently blind a victim. If the helmet isn't cool enough for you, some of his other inventions include a Bomb-droid, a truck with "hydraulic hoist," a helicopter with a force field, and a teleportation device which can affect even unwitting targets who are far away. He also has some "modest" training in martial arts, so I bet he gets his ass kicked a lot. 

What makes this character so ineffective is that he suffers from obsessive–compulsive personality disorder and "insists that his men execute his plans according to timetables that schedule each step down to the second. Even a few seconds deviation from one of his timetables causes him to become extremely agitated." You can't be like that and be a good villain. 

He's also excessively arrogant and always assumes that his opponents will be rendered completely helpless by his opti-blasts, despite being repeatedly proven wrong on this point. This guy sounds like an idiot. 

Diamondhead

Real Name: Arch Dyker

This poor criminal bastard was transformed when he was mutated by a diamond-powered laser during a botched jewel heist. The character has superhuman strength and and his body can be hardened into a diamond-like status. I'm not impressed.

Xemnu

This character is the last of his kind and an intergalactic criminal. He had very advanced mind powers like telepathy, and you know what he did with them? He became an actor, got a TV show and would secretly emit his mind control powers over the viewers of his show. Oh, and at one point he wanted to steal all of the earth's kids.

Xemnu also had the ability to take over the body of another being if his body was ever destroyed. The new body would eventually take the form and appearance of his original body.

Shroud

Real Name: Maximilian Quincy Coleridge

Aliases: "Max", Michael Wyatt, Master of Darkness

Talk about a Batman wannabe, the guy was proficient in hand-to-hand combat and carried around explosive "bombarangs." He even tries to look like the Dark Knight. Also, his parents were gunned down and killed during a hold-up when he was 10-years-old. From there on out he dedicated his life to fighting crime, even traveling to Nepal to study martial arts and mystical disciplines at the temple of the Cult of Kali.

There's one thing he could do that Batman couldn't, though. He had the ability to "create apertures into the Darkforce Dimension to project Darkforce in a gaseous form which he can manipulate. The Darkforce negates all light sources in the area, and the Shroud can manipulate the source into basic shadows and shapes to serve as decoys. Mystical extrasensory perception replacing his eye sight) that allows him to 'see' through walls and through his own darkness."

Night Thrasher

Real Name: Dwayne Michael Taylor

This is another Batman wannabe in the Marvel universe. He believes that his extremely wealthy parents were gunned down by a criminal, so he makes a vow to make criminals pay for their dirty deeds. He used his parents' money build a state-of-the-art headquarters with training facilities and computer support systems. He also developed specialized armor and weaponry. 

He is a master at an unspecified Japanese martial art, and he has also been trained with weapons. He carries two truncheons approximately 1' in length, and a variety of weaponry such as pepper spray, an Adamantium garrote wire, plastique and napalm gel packs, an 8-inch spring-lock blade, and an uzi machine pistol. He is also good with computers, working in hacking, software coding, and computer tapping.

Paula

Paula was a mutant who used her powers to become a successful stand-up comedian, but when she lost her powers on M-Day, she found she was no longer funny. A mutant with the power of funniness. That's really kind of sad.

Calizuma

Calizuma is a magician and skilled illusion-caster who could project mystical bolts of energy from his hands among other abilities. One time he transformed himself and his warrior wizard gang into man-apes. Good for him. 

Cyrus Black

Alias: Devil Incarnate

This is not the dude from Harry Potter, but he is a magician who spent years studying and training to beat Doctor Strange only to be beaten by him. One time he created a force-field to cover a city block. He also fired bolts of bedevilment, created mystic ladders, and could cast a spell of protection. Under the influence of his Jamaican incense, Black could dream anything to life and bestow any powers upon it so long as he believed it was real. None of this ever did anything to help him against Strange, though. Everything he ever dreamed up was defeated. 

Ani-Men

The Ani-Men were a team of grown men that dressed up as animals to orchestrate a crime wave by committing robberies. Their original line-up consisted of Frog-Man, Cat-Man, Bird-Man, and Ape-Man. They were hired by a man named the Organizer, a.k.a. Abner Jonas, a candidate for mayor of New York City. He would send the Ani-Men on missions to undermine the current administration. You would think the Organizer could have found a better team criminals. They all ended up being killed in a massive explosion meant for Tony Stark. That's not the best way to go. 

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