A long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
It is a period of Civil War.
Santa Sleighs, striking from a hidden mall
have won their first victory against the evil
Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas.
Ok, so it's not quite like that, but pretty close. Paramount Pictures has brought on Mike White to script Santa Wars, a comedy based on the true story of rival factions that developed within a union of professional Santa Clauses who became arch enemies during a Santa Claus civil war.
Santa Wars will jump off of a segment on Ira Glass' public radio show This American Life written by Joshuah Bearman that aired last December. The segment revolved around the battles that erupted after two men who made seasonal livings dressing up as Santas formed a union, the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, but then became bitter rivals.
A tale of two Santas. There’s Tim Conaghan, a full-time professional Santa with a big belly and a real flowing white beard. And there’s Santa Nick—he too has a belly and real white beard. But the story of Santa Tim and Santa Nick is not like most uplifting Christmas parables. Instead, it’s about two men, very much alike, who came to lead rival factions in a bitter Santa civil war, and came themselves to be arch enemies.
You can listen to the full segment at This American Life, the "Santa Fight Club" begins at the 22:40 mark. Or 22:30 if you need to be reminded not to listen to this around kids who aren't fully aware of how their presents really get under the tree.
Mike White will produce through his Rip Cord Prods banner, along with his School of Rock and Orange County collaborator Scott Rudin. Bearman will serve as an executive producer.
This seems right up White's alley, though it'll surely be darker than his recent family friendly fare. White has a broad spectrum of comedic work under his belt, penning the aforementioned School of Rock, Orange County and Nacho Libre -- which happen to have all been at Paramount -- as well as The Good Girl, and TV's Freaks and Geeks.
What do you think of Mike White writing SANTA WARS for Paramount?