Odd? Strange? Unexplainable? All of the above. Starting with Number 5, Archie teaming up with The Punisher is a classic example of what the f*** situations our favorite heroes land themselves in. So come with me on a journey through some of the other misadventures our beloved caped crusaders manage to wind up in what I hope (with your help of course) will be an ongoing series here at Geektyrant.
4. DON'T DROP THE GORILLA BATMAN!
What exactly was Bruce Wayne's plan prior to lifting a 600 pound ape above his head? Also, Robin is a dumbass. Besides the fact he's about to snap his ankle upon completing that bo-jank run, Gotham City is clearly far off in the background, the bombs are pointing upward away from the detonation tip on top, and if that gorilla was at all conscious he could most certainly break free so what's the harm in laying him on his back...or simply removing the belt? To me it's no surprise the boy wonder died...idiot.
3. Spider Man Comprimises Identity and Aunt May Is A Freak.
It wouldn't even take a dense villain to figure out the web slingers identity considering she is his ONLY living relative! I feel like even Aunt May should figure this one out...then again maybe she doesn't care. Life was probably pretty lonely after Ben's death...and the Doc has something he didn't...8 hands. Aunt May might be a lady in the streets but I think we all know her bedroom habits after this cover.
2. Can You Really Be That Mad Clark?
Did you think the word "positively" would keep her out Superman? Lois Lane has, is and always will be a trifling harlot and you should expect nothing less! Not that it's her fault at all...why do you even have this room?! Do you really need to carve her name into a bust that apparently no one else was meant to see?! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ART CLASSES?! HOW DO YOU EVEN HAVE TIME FOR THAT?! My heads about to explode from the questions that arise from this litany of bad decisions...let's move on shall we?
1. "I'M THE INCREDIBLE HULK BITCH!"
Finally something I can get behind! Minus "white-bread" in the corner being a typical stereotype, I don't think you could make a much more legit comic book cover. If only this were a true event...Charlie Murphy wouldn't have said s*** when he kicked his brothers couch!
So there it is...comic book fans, I'm looking to you guys to provide for the next installment, so make sure to email me some ideas and I'll throw you some credit on the next post!