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The Real Five Best Cars For Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

Rant Batmobile by Mick Joest

"You ain't lying baby...you ain't lying."

AOL did a list recently about the five best cars to survive a zombie apocalypse. If you haven't clicked the link in the sentence proceeding this, I'm assuming you've already figured it was lame.

Interior designs, decent gas mileage, reliability ratings?! You s******* me? In a world where all hell has broken loose, you really don't need to worry about driving a car cross country...and if your car breaks down, who the f*** is stopping you from stealing another?

When it comes to zombie cars, class and killability rain supreme. Hopefully you will agree with this more geekified list.

 

5. Armored Security Vehicle

Zombie apocalypse in full force? Time to raid the local National Guard armory. Durability, ramming power, and general badassery? Check, check, and one ginormous check for the jackpot destruction vehicle to plow you into the brave new world. Might want to make sure your GI friend survives to go with you though...might have a bit of a learning curve.

4. Industrial Vehicle

Large, capable of carrying lots of supplies/people, and built to take a beating. Plus you can find them everywhere, so replacement parts will never be a problem. Need any more convincing? Imagine how much cooler the above picture would look with dried blood splattered all over it.

 

3. Daewoo Lanos

Supreme gas mileage, stick shift, and sits low to the ground so your tires ain't poppin from skull fragments. Not to mention it's small, which makes it ideal for maneuvering those highways that are littered with annoying car pile ups. I have one of these babies posted in my garage and you best believe I'll be breaking it out if the dead rise. If only so I can scream the infamous quote from Pineapple Express, "YOU JUST GOT RUN OVER BY A DAEWOO LANOS MOTHER F*****"

2. Amphibious Lambourgini

Even the name sounds bad ass. Not only is this one of the snazziest, fastest cars around, it's also capable of traveling on the one terrain the undead don't fair too well in...water.

 

1. Batman Begins Batmobile

Make no mistake this is no CGI or movie prop. The vehicle you see in the movies exist in real life. Weighing in at 5,000 pounds, she's a thick b****. Take that and the ability to travel speeds of 100 mph, and I think we have the winner for the juggernaut vehicle of the post apocalypse. It can't stop cuz it won't stop, and that's just the way it is. If you happen to be anywhere near the Peterson Auto museum in Los Angeles when s*** hits the fan, pick this baby up...also see it in working order below.

Good list? Something we missed? Let us know below.


Email Me: MickJoest@Geektyrant.com Twitter: @MickJoest

 

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