Geeks Advocate: How to Make Aquaman the Best Superhero Movie Ever
"Yes he eats his food with it!"
Been doing a bit of reading lately and I've come to a conclusion that is not often shared by many people...Aquaman is a badass. Not only is he a badass, he is THE baddest ruler of 72% of the new Earth. Needless to say I'm pumped for the prospective Aquaman movie in 2013...provided it's done right, which is easier said than done when it comes to Hollywood.
Having said that I'm playing "geek's advocate" and giving some tips to the creatively deficient producers in Hollywood in hopes they will steal my ideas and possibly make the best superhero movie ever...let's "dive" (hyuk) right in shall we?!
Step 1: Grab Zack Snyder for Aquaman...It's more his speed.
Not to diss Zack Snyder by any means as I'm sure we will all not be disappointed with the finished product of "Man of Steel"...but if you look at the history of Aquaman the famed director of 300 would have more to cut his teeth into. The Aquaman series is rich with enough war, deception, and deities to have non-stop action if need be...plus the whole monarchy scenario?! Get out of here, the only thing that would qualify him more for the job was if Frank Miller wrote for the series.
Step 2: Cast Alexander Skarsgard as Aquaman.
What a better way than to drag your girlfriend to the movies when she hears "Eric from True Blood" is in it ("OMG I LOVE HIM!!!!" -your gf). Not to mention he looks a helluva lot like him. Skarsgards got some acting chops for sure and if at some point someone does resurrect the idea to make a Justice League movie...you're keeping the salary cap low to afford Christian Bale...Plus he can swim! Look!
3. Movie Should Be 10% Land 90% Water
We live in a post Avatar cinematic world...it shouldn't be hard to pull off given the technology now available to film makers, and this movie should do without the cheesy beginnings "great power, great responsibility" BS. Leave Aquamans power discovery and Earth upbringing to a 45 second flashback to cut up the action, and maybe a 3 minute cameo at the end with The Flash (fans of the series will know why). Other than that all water because it's where all the mysticism, cut-throat violence, and hopefully animal enlisted aquatic throw downs should commence.
4. Get the Story and Powers Right
Did you know Aquaman can take a bullet, scratch that, bullets with minimal harm to himself? He can also swim 175 MPH for several hours, lift up to 10,000 tons on land (provided he had a glass of water), and you wanna hate because he can talk to fish?! Oh yeah, DUDE CAN SUMMON SHARKS. Boom, Aquaman just got exponentially cooler in your book now didn't he?
Let's not even get into the epic throw downs he's had with equally impressive super villains such as the son of Poseidon (not Percy Jackson) Triton, Black Manta (who killed his child), Ocean Master (his own evil as hell half brother), and the list goes on and on.
The important thing to take is the Aquaman series at it's base is about a boy born into a world who didn't accept him (he was left on a corral reef for dead by his king father due to an Atlantean superstition involving blonde hair), raised on Earth, then came back to reclaim his throne only to protect it on a near constant and always epic basis. Aquaman is, at it's roots, about tragedy and acceptance, which should show from the grim story lines.
Any story line would suffice for the Aquaman movie (save the Silver Age, which would piss me off royally if they went that route), because they really are that good. His childhood abandonment ultimately leading to his return to Atlantis to battle his tyrant half-brother for the throne, commanding a fleet of killer whales to destroy a commanding army bent on Atlantean genocide, the death of his only son, the list goes on and on...so let's hope that whoever gets the reigns to take on the Dweller of the Depths epic twine of a tale does a good job, because anything else would be a disservice to a fantastic series.
Email: MickJoest@Geektyrant.com Twitter: @MickJoest