When it comes to action movies, every man has his own game. Some kick ass and take names, some take names and kick ass because they don't give a damn. This post is an homage to the types of action heroes, the movies they're in, and the actors who play them. Brownie points to the reader who can find an actor that's filled every role in this multi-post series (there's a couple)! Good luck and keep a lookout for next week's edition!
1. The Bald Vigillante
Movies You Find Them: Live Free Or Die Hard, Smokin Aces, XXX, Transporter Series, Hitman, Death Sentence, Walking Tall
Actors Who Play Them: Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Common, Cyril Raffaelli
Shaved or au natural, these guys don't need a long mane to bring the pain. They'll beat the hell out of you, slam your head into walls, dangle you over a cliff, demand answers, then drop you anyway. These guys play by their own rules all the time, constantly making it known to the authority they work for that they don't give a f***.
Get the job done, usually after a healthy beating due to recklessness, or the villain being destroyed in some explosion.
2. The Spy
Movies You Find Them: James Bond Series, Mission Impossible, True Lies, Spy Game, The Ipcress File, Nortorious, North By Northwest
Actors Who Play Them: Cary Grant, Daniel Craig, Pierce Brosnan, Tom Cruise, Sean Connery, John Forsythe
Suave, debonair, and the epitome of class. They'll elbow you wearing a Paul Smith $5000 suit and choke you out with a $600 dollar Armani necktie. They always get the girl, not that they need to try. If she dies, there will be vengeance, but he'll find another. Masters of the quick knockout and sporty gadgets, these guys make short work of low level goons by dispersing them in small numbers. They prefer the final fight to be one on one.
Get the job done and go on vacation. Assignments apparently take a lot out of them.
3. The Dynamic Duo
Movies You Find Them: Lethal Weapon Series, Bad Boys Series, Demolition Man, Universal Soldier, Dual Impact, Die Hard With A Vengence, Tango and Cash
Actors Who Play Them: Pretty much every action hero has done this at some point in their career.
These types of characters feel most comfortable entering the fray with a trusted bro. Success hinges primarily on the strength of their friendship and their mutual understanding of each others skills and weaknesses. Separate them though, and the enemy has the upper hand, usually taking one of the two captive. The first tries to rescue but is thwarted. Unfortunately for our villain, he didn't know about the strange telepathy going on in the minds of our duo that magically created a plan to destroy him when he wasn't looking. The day is saved, and every call is a close one.
Get the job done, but don't expect too much romance. This is a bro date after all.
4. Martial Arts Masters
Movies You'll Find Them: Ip Man, The Chinese Connection, Fearless, Fist Of Legend, Ong-Bak, Drunken Master, Hero
Actors Who Play Them: Jet Li, Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, Donnie Yen, Chow-Yun Fat
Masters of their respective fighting styles, these guys are more apt to lose their shirt more than they lose a fight throughout the film. If there's a girl involved she's probably alongside kicking ass, or back at the family shop fretting over her husband's well-being. She needn't worry, though; these guys take the least damage out of every hero on the list. They're just that good.
Get the job done but never truly satisfied. It's called discipline yo.
That's it for now! I look forward to your comments! Keep an eye out for next week's installment!
Email Me: MickJoest@Geektyrant.com Twitter: @MickJoest
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