Funny Newspaper Profile of Darth Vader Before STAR WARS Was Released

If you knew nothing about the deep mythology of the Star Wars Universe that's first presented to us in A New Hope, how would you try to describe Darth Vader? Even people who have never seen Star Wars know the name Darth Vader. It's hard not to think about the Jedi and the Sith, the ties the main hero and villain share and the many other useless Star Wars facts we know, right? Though nearly impossible for us to do, this is what a reporter had to do when describing Darth Vader before the film's 1977 release.

Here's how the iconic villain is described:

 

I don't think I'd use the word "creature", I think little kids probably think he's a giant robot. With Star Wars, there's so many things that George Lucas drew inspiration from story and design wise, that it feels really familiar. But there's also this element that it has that is quite indescribable and addictive, maybe that's why we collect so much Star Wars paraphernalia!

Pretending like you knew nothing about Star Wars besides perhaps a trailer, how would you describe Darth Vader?