The Official Rules Of Spoilers For Movies And TV

Spoilers. Things have been spoiled for you, and try as you might to deny it, you've spoiled things for others. It's frustrating, saddening, and gives you that feeling in the stomach that you want to punch somebody. You want to, but know it would be very uncouth to punch a buddy over a movie, so instead you focus your aggression towards the movie, ergo ruining your cinematic experience.

Spoiler- any element of any summary or description of any piece of fiction that reveals any plot element which will give away the outcome of a dramatic episode within the work of fiction, or the conclusion of the entire work. It can also be used to refer to any piece of information regarding any part of a given media. Because enjoyment of fiction sometimes depends upon the dramatic tension and suspense which arises within it, the external revelation of such plot elements can "spoil" the enjoyment that some consumers of the narrative would otherwise have experienced.

As geeks we encounter spoilers every day (some of us more than others), and as geeks we get mad when things are spoiled for us (some of us more than others). I may be making a bit of a stretch here, but if your geek circles are like mine, you have that one friend who recklessly drops spoilers without warning (coined S-Bombing). If I may stretch a little further, you also have a friend who is always stymieing conversation amongst the herd as he still has not watched many of the things you guys started talking about years ago (called Tubesee as they are often cite being "too busy" as their reason for not watching).

Both are equally annoying, and both need taken care of. In this brave new digital age, information travels fast, and movie plots can be ruined before they even begin filming. Let this guide serve to establish an etiquette of sorts to stop S-bombers and Tubesees from ruining and griping and get entertainment to where it was before we had the internet. A discussion.

When is it okay to discuss....

**Movies**

• Movie Is Still In Production/Post-Production- This is already typically solved by the huge SPOILER text you see often on film sites. Despite this things still slip through the cracks and writers unintentionally reveal secrets. The best advice I can give is get off the internet if you are interested enough to search for your movie but not enough to know the details. It goes without saying that unless prompted, you don't talk about these details in open discussion, and always stop if someone asks.
• Movie Is in Theaters- This largely depends on popularity. If the plot is non-essential to enjoyment of the film, then go ahead and say it. If it's in the trailer, go ahead it can't hurt no one. Never, however, reveal anything that resulted in your primary enjoyment of the film in detail...especially if it lead to your reason of discussion in the first place. Be general, people will appreciate you more.
• Movie Is On DVD- At this point I believe it's fair to say after 2 months, it's officially open season for discussion. This is especially true on movies that have received a lot of hype, you can't really shield yourself at this point. It's a ticking time bomb and it's your responsibility to watch it if you truly want to see it. Plus by this point, you likely already know the story and just keep telling yourself you don't. Denial is not the answer.
• Movie is on TV- Grow up.

**Television**

• Series on national television-The biggest distinction between this and cable is that everyone watches it. If you aren't on board to keep up with the rest of the world when it airs, then you don't really care that much. It is in my experience that most interested parties of these shows even if they miss it's airing will usually watch it at their first chance to do so. Asking to refrain within a couple days is appropriate, but get on it because next week will arrive before you know it.
• Series on cable television- Remember the kind of loyal television watcher you were before DVR? You actually had to schedule your day around your TV and not the other way around? Recording entire series is the worst enemy to people who hate Tubesees. They can always cop out and leave it for a rainy, undetermined Saturday to commit the time they don't have to a show they clearly aren't all that passionate about. This is the muckiest grey area on the list in all honesty, and my best advice is to just not discuss the show if you don't want spoilers revealed.
• Series on subscription television- Everyone loves Dexter, but not everyone loves paying for Showtime. Not everyone can afford these channels as well, which makes the timeframe for spoiler discussion much longer, but let's not be hasty. I believe it is totally fair that if a 2nd season of a show is released on DVD then it becomes fair to discuss the previous season as there has been ample time for the non-viewing party to watch the first. Of course if the series is only one season, then don't discuss it at length. 

******THE IGNORANCE CLAUSE********

Let it be known from this point on that someone's lack of knowledge about any show and or movie immediately exempts them from the above rules. Only the guilty shall be punished. Unlike our law system, as passionate film goers we shall be respectful to those less educated than us on cinema.

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I believe these rulings are fair enough. As Geektyrants we have a responsibility to uphold where debate and discussion reign supreme. Sticking to these rules helps ensure responsibility on both sides of the spoiler spectrum (from Tubesees to S-Bombers) and helps avoid annoying conversation enders. Stick to these rules and you can't go wrong. Anything you would like to add? Post it below as we might be turning it into an infographic in the future.