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ROBOCOP Ends up Being a Transformer in Remake

Movie RoboCop by Joey Paur

Some new story information has found its way online for director José Padilha's Robocop remake, and there's a strong chance you might not like what they are making. Drew McWeeny from HitFix got his hands on the most recent script for the film, and as you'll read, he really didn't care for what it contained. He took his thoughts to Twitter where he tore into the script, and the ridiculousness of it. One of the main things he pointed out is that we'll see four different versions of Robocop, and one of them is a transformer version. It definitely doesn't sound like a winner.

Before we get into some of the story details, I just wanted to point out that McWeeney compares the script to Len Wiseman's recent Total Recall remake saying....

"I'm sorry, 'Total Recall.' I had no idea how bad things could get. You're starting to look like a masterpiece right about now."

When this thing hits theaters, people are going to call up Len Wiseman's "Total Recall" on the phone and apologize for being so mean.

Damn, that's pretty harsh. Sounds like this Robocop remake isn't going to be as awesome as we hoped it would be. Here's what McWeeny had to say about the script:

In the film, when Murphy is turned into Robocop 1.0, it's described "a high-tech version of the '80s suit." Then they show a focus group scene where criminals laugh at the design. "He looks like a toy from the '80s!" So they redesign him to look "meaner" as Robocop 2.0, who passes focus group approval. So they not only make sure to include the original design, they also point out it's dated and stupid. 

Hold onto your sides for more hilarious "Robocop" details. They outsource his construction to China. #seriously 

And we meet the ED-209s in the field in Iran, where they're used to subdue suicide bombers. 

Ahhh... now they just dropped Robocop 3.0 onto an Al Queda training camp to see what he does. "He should be programmed to incapacitate in all scenarios." "Agreed. Let's keep him PG-13, Dr. Norton." No. No. No. No. 

By page 54, they are already onto Robocop 4.0, who looks like a "cop on steroids painted metallic blue." Oh, god... oh dear god... Robocop is a Transformer. He goes from "social mode" to "combat mode" and back. Full transformation. 

It's tough to determine tone on the page, but "satire" seems low on their list of priorities. 

Okay... the two "best" lines in the script. First up is at the unveiling ceremony for Robocop in Detroit, from a TV reporter covering it. "I think it's safe to say that Alex Murphy is now part man, part machine, ALL COP!" Yes, I too remember the original poster, asshat. 

Second, after the traumatic first meeting with his father, Alex's son retreats to the apartment of Lewis, Murphy's male partner. The scene ends with the action line "David sits, catatonic, looks at the TV -- MGM REMAKE TBD." It means "to be determined." They haven't decided which of their other movies to plug with that clip. 

Someone shows Pope, head of the OCP project, some mock-ups for Robocop action figures. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't buy that for a dollar!" 

I'll say this: once the script stops all the winky-winky crap and just starts telling a story, it's not terrible. But it's way too late.If you can get past Robocop The Transformer, there are some interesting action beats. And I'm sure Padilha will direct the hell out of it.

So that doesn't sound very promising. That's a shame, especially since it's got such a talented cast! Do you think there's hope for this movie after reading this script description?

Here's the official synopsis:

In RoboCop, the year is 2029 and multinational conglomerate OmniCorp is at the center of robot technology. Their drones are winning American wars around the globe and now they want to bring this technology to the home front. Alex Murphy is a loving husband, father and good cop doing his best to stem the tide of crime and corruption in Detroit. After he is critically injured in the line of duty, OmniCorp utilizes their remarkable science of robotics to save Alex’s life. He returns to the streets of his beloved city with amazing new abilities, but with issues a regular man has never had to face before.

Director José Padilha ("Elite Squad") reimagines the tale of part man, part machine, all cop starring Joel Kinnaman ("The Killing") as the title character, Gary Oldman ("The Dark Knight Rises") as the scientist who creates RoboCop, and Samuel L. Jackson ("The Avengers") as media mogul Pat Novak. 

 

 

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