Universal has released Peter Berg's Battleship on Blu-ray, and I had the chance to review it over the weekend. I did not have the chance to see this film in theaters, and I am very thankful for that fact. I typically love mindless fun, but this movie is straight up ridiculous. Battleship stars Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood), Brooklyn Decker (Just Go With It), Liam Neeson (Taken, The Grey), Taylor Kitsch (John Carter), Jesse Plemons (Friday Night Lights), Rhianna (singer-turned-actress), Tadanobu Asano (Thor), and Hamish Linklater (New Adventures of Old Christine). The film only has two things going for it, amazing picture and sound quality.
The script was penned by Jon and Erich Hoeber, and is loosely based on Hasbro's classic naval combat game. I can say truly that there is nothing at all that reminds me of the game, aside from a lot of the action taking place on a Battleship. The story takes place during RIMPAC International Naval maneuvers going on in Hawaii. A mysterious alien force attacks the world during this event, and the USS John Paul Jones is right in the center of the attack.
If you have seen any Michael Bay or alien invasion movie, you have seen this story before. Battleship should have gone straight-to-video, and not wasted any space in theaters. The script is down right pathetic, and only something that a young kid would love. This is not a movie I would ever imagine watching more than once, let alone buying. Battleship is best watched if you are looking for some sunshine on a dark and rainy day. I will not waste time telling you more about the non-existent plot in this review.
Taylor Kitsch needs to fire his manager/casting agent immediately. His roles in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, John Carter and this would be the last straw. I feel bad because he has such a great on-screen presence, and I truly hope that he gets a hit in the near future. Fans of Liam Neeson, should basically avoid this movie. Neeson has the least amount of screen time of the cast. That means that cast members like Brooklyn Dekker and Rhianna have more screen time. Dekker is basically eye candy, so I can not fault her being cast. Rhianna is a different story. I hope that the trend of musicians (aside from Justin Timberlake) being cast in movies ends soon. Rhianna has no business acting, and should stick to what she does better.
The only thing going for the Blu-ray is it's exceptional picture, visual effects, sound quality, and special features. Universal did a great job of packing the disc with some decent special features.
- All Access with Director Peter Berg (HD, 140 minutes): Berg feels right at home hosting this Picture-in-Picture video commentary. I liked this aspect because of the interviews, behind-the-scenes footage, featurettes, and more.
- Alternate Ending Previsualization (HD, 8 minutes): Berg helms this feature which shows audiences a different ending, which is sillier in my opinion.
- USS Missouri VIP Tour (HD, 20 minutes): Audiences are taken on a special tour of the USS Missouri by Berg, Michael Carr (President of the USS Missouri Memorial Association), and Reginald H. Johnson (USS Missouri Senior Tour Guide). This is really cool because you are able to see places you would normally never see.
- Preparing for Battle (HD, 11 minutes): This feature is worthless in my opinion. It reminds us even more of how different the film is from the board game.
- All Hands on Deck: The Cast (HD, 12 minutes): Basically Berg goes from each actor to and talks about why they were cast.
- Engage in Battle (HD, 7 minutes): Two at-sea featurettes: "Shooting at Sea" and "All Aboard the Fleet."
- Second Screen Experience: You can access this on your computer, iPad or tablet, or Android or iPhone with the PocketBLU app
- Commander Pete (HD, 6 minutes): This segment is one more way of massaging Peter Berg's ego.
- The Visual Effects (HD, 12 minutes): Visual effects is one of the best features of this movie, but gets one of the shorter segments on the disc.
- My Scenes Bookmarking
If loud sounds and childish action sequences are your thing, then Battleship is a perfect choice on Blu-ray.
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