Transformers is out today, and it is terrible. Even the we-love-all-action-movies GeekTyrant crew can’t make much of a case for this one, and a big part of the film’s problems is the ridiculous, over the top product placement. The movie is being called a machine to sell you things. Yikes. So to pay tribute to the transformational awesomeness that might have been, here are some transforming items you can buy without helping to line Michael Bay’s/Paramount’s/Hasbro’s pockets.
Capt. Jules’ Telescope Ring
Who was Captain Jules? Hell if I know, but I’m pretending this steampunky ring that quadruples as a telescope, magnifying glass, and compass pays tribute to Jules Verne, the original king of sci-fi. [ThinkGeek]
Iceberg Lettuce Safe
Stick this head of lettuce in your crisper drawer, and thieves will never guess that Great Aunt Mildred’s 4 carat engagement ring is hidden inside. Or your totem. No one will ever invade your dreams again with your totem locked up in this baby. [BimBamBanana]
Coke Can RC Racer
Okay, it doesn’t actually transform from a soda can into an RC racer, and yes, that would be cooler. But you can still pop this into the water bottle pocket on your backpack and shock your friends when a race car pops out, and that’s pretty cool in and of itself. [Amazon]
Doppelganger Outdoors Wearable Sleeping Bag
If you’ve ever camped out in cold weather, you’ve probably wished you could just walk around inside you sleeping bag. Well, now you can. This genius product can be a jacket, a coat, or a full on sleeping bag. Keeps you warm, cuts down on what you have to pack, and isn’t horrifically ugly? We’re picking one up in case we have to sleep outside Hall H this year. [Japan Trend Shop]
These genius secret wallets were kickstarted a year ago. Perfect for running, surfing, or LARPing, Pocket Bands look like silicon bracelets, or maybe Fitbits, but they are actually tubes to hold your keys and money. They are great if you want to stop for a smoothie after a run without dragging your whole wallet around, or if you want to buy merch on the convention floor without getting pickpocketed. [Pocket Bands]
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