Comically Bad Subtitle Translations For AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON Confuse Chinese Moviegoers

I always get a chuckle out of stories about bad subtitles and movie meanings being lost in translation, and it looks like another case of that has struck some Chinese theaters with Marvel's Avengers: Age of Ultron. These are especially funny, since most of the miffed translations are not only incorrect, but they often say the opposite of what the characters are actually supposed to be saying. THR brings the news, and has some great examples of things going hilariously wrong:

...Iron Man tries to rally the troops to fight to the death with the line "We may not make it out of this," but for some reason this is translated in Chinese as "Let's back off now."

...When Captain America gives some advice by saying "You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed... walk it off," it comes across in Chinese as "Run fast if someone tries to kill you."

Other times, the dialogue is translated into seemingly random lines:

At one point, Captain America says in the film, "I'm home," which was translated as "I'm good," Chinese webizens have pointed out. At another point, a line about having to wait too long becomes "I am very old" in Chinese.

According to news web site Nanfang, the phrase "son of a bitch" becomes "my old, familiar partner."

Maybe I'm just being childish, but that strikes me as being pretty funny. It certainly isn't what Joss Whedon had in mind when he wrote the screenplay. I wonder what other crazy mistakes are in these translations, and how else it might alter the meaning of the movie.