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Growing Up Geek - The Hounds of Hell

Growing Up Geek by Joey Paur

For some reason, people think I hate dogs. But that's not true... dogs hate me. I have a long history of dogs that have shown their dislike for me. I don't know why they don't like me, but ever since I was a little kid they have been out to get me. 

One of my earliest memories of a dog is when I was in the second grade. The school I went to was right around the corner from our apartment. Back in those days it was ok for kids like me to walk to school on their own. As I was walking to school one morning, I was passing by an alley way. As I looked over, I saw a big ass black dog walking toward me. I stopped and looked at it, and it stopped and looked at me. All of a sudden this fear engulfed me, and the dog must have smelled that fear because the next thing I knew it started barking at me and I ran like a bat out of hell, and then it started to chase me down the street! 

The only thing I could think of was to make it to school and try to get into class. There was a long staircase on the side of the school that ran up to a door that led to the playground. I ran up the stairs with the dog literally nipping at my heels. As I ran through the door I immediately saw a metal slide and ran right toward it and up the ladder. I was finally safe from that damn evil dog. It barked at me for a bit before a teacher came out and chased it away. 

The animal seemed like a combination of Chopper from Stand By Me, the Beast from The Sandlot, and Stephen King's Cujo. When I think back at that dog now I always seem to imagine it with red glowing eyes. The first time I saw the movie Attack The Block, those deep black aliens in the film instantly reminded me of that dog. Dogs became a nightmare for me for a long time. I bet those dogs weren't even that big or scary, but as a kid they seemed like giant monsters.

That wasn't the only time a dog chased me on my way to school either! There was a big white shaggy dog that came after me one day, and I ended up hiding in a candy store near the school where I would buy my delicious treats and Garbage Pail Kids cards. I would usually hide in there if I saw a dog on on the street, an wait there until it went away.  I bought a lot of Garbage Pail Kids cards at that place. I don't know why, but I never really talked to my parents about these dog experiences until I was older. 

Since I was a kid I have always been barked at, jumped on while being barked at, and attacked. I even got bit in the ass by a dog when I was teenager right in front of all of my friends, including a girl I had a crash on. Now that I think about it, it was actually her dog! 

I've also heard the following statement from several dog owners, "He (or she) never acts like this, they are usually very friendly." Yeah, well... Apparently there's just something about me that dogs don't like. I'm convinced that I'm cursed to walk the earth constantly being hunted by what I call the Hounds of Hell. If I ever die of anything other than a natural death, it's because I will be mauled to death by one of these hellish animals. Needless to say I still do kind of have a fear of dogs.

Preview Art by Azany

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