A couple weeks ago, my fellow GeekTyrant writer Bryan Dayley started our new column Movie Dream Team, where we cook up a dream director and starring cast for a movie we either want to see made or re-made right. Well, as my history of articles has proven, I am very into all things Mortal Kombat. It is starting to border on harmful obsession, really. So naturally when he asked if I wanted to do an article for his new column, I spent far too much time blabbing his ear off about how I would want a Mortal Kombat reboot to go down. Also, let it be known that obviously I know there is already a Mortal Kombat movie from 1995. I love that movie, and one of the very first articles I wrote for this site revolved around that love. But now that the average gamer knows more about the dark and mystical world that surrounds Mortal Kombat, I want something with a little more edge. Something with the gut-wrenching, bone-breaking, spine-removing action of the games. And so, without further fluff, let’s get this started!

The Plot

I want to see a Mortal Kombat film centering around everyone’s favorite nut-busting washed-up action star, Johnny Cage. Everybody loves a good “rise from the ashes” story, and I think ol’ Johnny has one of the best. Imagine if when Robert Downey Jr. had his big comeback in Iron Man, it was actually just a dramatic retelling of the time RDJ saved us all from certain doom. You’d love him even more, right?! Well that is Johnny Cage, and that is the Johnny Cage I want to see a movie about.

Our story opens with Cage drinking his life away after his fifth flop film in a row. Reviews are in, and America just doesn’t care about the star of Ninja Mime anymore. Johnny has spiraled out of control, blowing his money on booze, drugs, and prostitutes. The only semblance of glory he still gets in life is when he visits comic conventions. While not the star he once was, his die hards are desperately waiting for him to make a comeback. It’s at one of these conventions that his agent comes to him with a great new idea: Go back to his roots. Prove that he’s still a martial arts legend. A whisper of a new tournament has crossed his desk. A tournament that only happens once every generation, and he got Cage an invite. Excited just to get away from the audiences that had driven him into the hole he’s in now, Johnny accepts.

On his journey to find his roots and redeem himself, Johnny joins forces with a promising unknown who has spent his life in the mountains of China training for this tournament, Liu Kang. The two form an unlikely friendship as Johnny begins to find the good in himself as he slowly begins to realize he is part of humanity's last hope. While the film is an action adventure story about saving the world, it is also about one man’s journey to redeem himself in the eyes of the world as well in his own eyes. It’s about friendship, love, and a whole bunch of blood.

The Director

The first time I watched the fairly-unknown Gareth Evans’ The Raid I kept thinking to myself, “If ever Hollywood sees fit to reboot the Mortal Kombat movies, I want this man helming them!” His eye for brutal action is unrivaled. I felt each and every hit in The Raid and The Raid 2. With a plot that would rely heavily on long and entertaining action sequences the film would need a man with a track record like Evans'. If you have any doubts, just watch the last scene of The Raid and tell me you couldn’t see that re-translated into a final fight between Liu Kang and Kung Lao against Shang Tsung. (Just add some fireballs and a razor edged hat!)

The Cast

All right, I know we're all SO excited to see Ryan Reynolds totally kick ass as Deadpool. But roll back with me a bit to earlier into Reynolds' career, specifically Blade: Trinity. Can you not just see Johnny Cage playing a role like that early in his career? Reynolds has continued to show us he can play a snarky, handsome, cocky asshole who is also incredibly endearing. That is Johnny Cage's character to a T! Sure he is an egocentric douchebag, but a kindhearted hero at his core, not unlike Reynolds himself. Plus, who doesn't want to picture a real life Johnny Cage coming out on stage at San Diego Comic-Con to promote a film about the time he saved all of existence?!

I get that a kung-fu movie based on a video game might not be Daniel Day-Lewis' usual project, but this is my dream team, so if I say I want an Oscar-winning actor to play my God of Thunder, then I can! The intensity and no-nonsense attitude Day-Lewis could bring would be AMAZING for Raiden. Imagine him delivering a line not-unlike the one from the post credit scene at the end of Mortal Kombat X. Chills. Raiden is the protector god of Earthrealm who eventually claims a spot as an Elder God by kicking the crap out of Shinnok (in the original timeline, that is), so the character needs somebody who can command a room with that sort of intensity!

If you're not familiar with Joe Taslim, he was one of the ass-kicking co-stars from The Raid, which means he's worked with Gareth Evans before and can deliver the choreography that would be needed to establish this larger than life character. He also burst onto American screens on Fast & Furious 6 and I want to see him grow a bigger audience here. Anybody who plays Liu Kang needs to not just be a good actor, but a spectacular martial artist!

Over the years Sonya Blade has gone from "the one that's a girl" to a hardened, commanding, and beautiful character. In my mind Emily Blunt encompasses all these things. Her performance in Edge of Tomorrow would translate perfectly to Sonya, a strong female character who has built a rough exterior to be taken seriously in a male dominated world. But her budding relationship with Johnny shows her soft side as well, as the two characters are forced to prop each other up in a world they don't understand.

Oh boy, Kano. So yeah, he sounds weirdly Australian. But honestly, that was Trevor Goddard's horrible attempt at a cockney British accent. The voice I hear in my head for Kano almost sounds EXACTLY like my terrible Jason Statham impression. I mean come on, just look at that picture! He even looks almost exactly like the guy. Just slap a cybernetic eye on him and he's good to go!

Shang Tsung is an unstoppable martial arts master. In the original timeline he was the only one capable of killing Liu Kang, quite possibly the universe's strongest warrior. So naturally whoever plays the soul-consuming wizard needs to kick a lot of ass while still maintaining an air of magical mystery. Who better than friggin' Ip Man?! Donnie Yen has kicked so much collective ass in his career that his hands and feet should have binding resolutions put on them by the United Nations.

I'm gonna come right out and say it, Bi Han (the original, older Sub Zero) is a dick. He is! Sure he falls patsy to the evil plots of the Lin Kuei Grandmaster and Quan Chi. But he is still an asshole! As such, who better to play him than one of the guys best at capturing asshole ninja, Rick Yune? In every movie he is ever in, he is the asshole you love to watch beat people down, but are always satisfied when seeing him fall. Plus, Rick Yune has got some moves, which is obviously important for the Lin Kuei's most deadly assassin.

At this point in the story, Hanzao Hasashi, the once great leader of the now extinct Shirai Ryu clan, is the undead specter ninja puppet of the evil sorcerer, Quan Chi. In this film we won't see the man under the mask, we'll just see his tormented soul murder the shit out of some of Earthrealm's mightiest warriors. Tony Jaa can kick that level of ass. The level of beat downs he has thrown about in the Ong-Bak films rivals that of Donnie Yen. But I would want to pull a Darth Vader on this situation and have Patrick Seitz reprise his role as the voice of Scorpion from Mortal Kombat X. His performance fully captured the complexities of this tortured soul driven by hatred and a burning need for vengeance.

The evil sorcerer, Quan Chi, is a very stoic and frighteningly mysterious character. His greatest power doesn't come from his own physical strength, but rather from his ability to bend others to fit his will. Djimon Hounsou has an air about him that just seems to ooze mystery, making him an amazing fit for this character. As the story continues in later movies, Djimon could really grow into this amazing villain.

We live in a time where we can make amazing CG and practical effects work hand in hand. In my mind, the perfect film Goro is a combination of on-screen talent, somebody who is unbelievably huge, mixed with a CG second pair of arms and facial performance. The performer on screen could be an unknown, so long as they're huge and can kick some ass. As for the voice, I'd love none other than Hollywood's cigar lovin' tough guy, Ron Perlman. I don't think I need to go too in depth about this, because ol' Ron kinda sells himself.

So there it is, my Movie Dream Team for the perfect Mortal Kombat movie! What cast do you want us to cook up next? Let us know down in the comments. And who would you have cast differently in your perfect Mortal Kombat film franchise reboot? Join me in the comments for a discussion! Plus, don't forget to keep an eye out for more of our new column.

Movie Dream Team: MORTAL KOMBAT

The Plot

The Director

The Cast